Page 15 of Living Without

Tears tingle my eyes. I swallow hard and breathe deeply through my nose. With shaky hands, I pick up the pen and write Mum another note. When she reads it, tears fill her eyes. She nods. “Yeah, it could be time to let him go even if he is your dream.” She takes my hand and squeezes it. “Not all dreams are meant to be, but it doesn’t mean someone out there won’t build another dream for you.”

Kelsey shifted in my arms, taking me away from my thoughts of Saxon. She pulled away to sit up, her grasp telling me it hurt her to move.

“Do they bring anything for you for pain?”

“No.” She whispered. “Nary, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“Don’t, please. You’ve been living in hell for eight months, Kelsey. I’m sure I can put up with it until I’m... until I’m sold.” My bottom lip quivered so I bit down on it.

“D-do you really think your family will come?”

Clearing my throat, I answer, “Yes. I don’t know when, but I do know they’re out there searching for me. I know they will do anything to get the answers they need to find me.”

“That must feel nice.”

“Your family hasn’t…?”

“No, I grew up in foster care. No one would be looking for me.”

“Coworkers? Boyfriend?”

She let out a huff. “No, I was in between jobs, and the man I did like… he didn’t know I was alive.”

“Do you know what he meant about a photo tomorrow?”

Her hand touched the top of mine. I turned it and took hold of hers. “All women who come through here get some provocative photos done to entice buyers. I’m sorry.”

My stomach dropped. I closed my eyes. The already present dread intensified, sending a tremor through my body.

“Maybe if you do what you’re told again, it won’t be s-so bad,” she suggested.

“Bad? He raped me, Kelsey. He touched me without my permission,” I yelled.

“I-I know, I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Gulping back a sob, I pulled her close, my arm around her shoulders. My voice quivered when I said, “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t yell at you.” I shouldn’t be there. I shouldn’t have had anyone force himself on me.

Oh, God. Please hurry. Please.

“Maybe we should get some sleep. The pain might s-settle after some sleep.”

“Kelsey, will they give you anything for it?”

“I doubt it. I’ve asked in the past, and they’ve just laughed at me. I’ll be okay though. He was a little rough down there that’s all.”

“Kelsey,” I whispered, my heart hurting for her.

“I’ll be okay.”

“You have the will of a saint, Kelsey, but I’m glad I’m here now because it means when my family gets here, we can get you out. Help you live again.”

She sniffed. “I’m not sure if living is what I would call it.”

“Oh, honey, you will, and I’ll be there to help, I promise.”

“It’s terrible to s-say, but I’m glad you’re here also, Nary. The confidence you have in your family makes me want to believe.”

“You can. Hold on to it and keep it in your mind when something bad happens. They will come, and the men out there will pay with their lives.”

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