Page 51 of Living Without

It was because they thought us fragile, and we were still, somewhat. Kelsey and I slept in the same bed and still in Saxon’s room. Both of us woke through the night as the terror of the nightmares we’d had consumed us. It was after the third night, both Gypsy and Saxon slept in the room on the floor with us. It actually helped ease some of our fears.

The nightmares had been new for me. I had thought I would have got them, like Kelsey, in the place we’d been held, but I hadn’t. So when I was back under the roof of my family, who protected me fiercely, I presumed I wouldn’t wake in fright.

I didn’t understand it.

Especially since we knew Baxter and his men were no longer a threat. His men were dead, and Baxter was in jail. Which was what he deserved more than dying. Though at first, when Saxon had told me Baxter was still alive, I wanted to run to the room and deal with him myself. Then, after Saxon explained his decision, I understood. Actually, I was grateful for Baxter still living and going through his own personal hell for the rest of his days, rotting in jail. I knew his time in there wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. Saxon, along with my dad, had promised me Baxter would pay each and every day.

And yet the fear, even small, was still there.

I knew if I were still feeling it, it would be touching Kelsey worse. She hid it well most of the time, but on the occasion, I’d see darkness in her eyes. She was trying, like I was, and really, it was all we could do after what we’d been through.

“A-are you okay, Nary?” At first, I thought Kelsey’s stuttering was caused by her ordeal. I soon learned it was a natural stutter, and I was sure I wasn’t the only one who thought it cute. She gripped my hand as we walked down the hall for lunch in the common room at the compound, with Saxon following. Gypsy was out somewhere doing… something. Most likely talking to Mason or his friends, who were taking care of his business while he was away.

“I am, honey. My mind just drifted.”

“Are we going out the b-back after lunch?” Kelsey took every opportunity to be outdoors. I was thankful the weather was warm enough to do so. We spent a lot of the afternoons just sitting outside, either with the grass under us or at one of the many park benches the MC brothers had set up some time ago. We would talk, read, or lean back and enjoy the sun shining down on us.

It made us realise we were free and helped warm us from the inside out.

“Heck yes.” I smiled. “I heard there’s bad weather on our way so we have to enjoy it as much as we can.”

“We will.” She grinned. Only to cringe back when we stepped into the common room and it erupted in greetings. My hand let go of hers to wind around her waist so I could hold her close as my eyes took in the women and few men in the room.

A smile lit my face. I gave a reassuring squeeze to Kelsey’s waist and told her, “These people are more family members from Ballarat.” Hesitation filled her eyes, but she nodded. I added, “I promise you will love them.”

“I trust your opinion,” she declared and then finally relaxed.

“Go to the posse, angel, before they go crazy.” Saxon’s advice drifted from behind me. “Kelsey can stay by me until it’s done.”

“Until w-what’s done?” Kelsey asked.

A laugh abruptly left me. “You’ll see,” I said and then made my way to my friends.

They surrounded me. With a combination of tears, hugs, and coos, they all thanked the high heaven I was okay.

Julian stepped back and said, “I was so ready to go commando, and not in the ‘losing the undies’ way, but the ‘alpha male’ way, and come with the hot biker boys to get you. But then our baby girl got sick.”

Then Zara added, “I would have been here sorting them all out, but Talon threatened me to stay behind with the kids. I mean, I know the men can do wonders, but there’s nothing like the muffkateers to help out. Thank God for Julian finding Melissa.”

“My girl is amazing.” Julian clapped and then threw himself at Melissa for a hug. “I’m kidnapping you. You’re not leaving me ever again.”

And as Deanna and Clary went to say something at the same time, Ivy interrupted, “We were all so worried about you. I lost count of the times we called each other crying or got together becoming blubbering messes, and even when Griz said everything was good, we just had to come see for ourselves. And you seem okay, but we know what things are like after terrible situations.” Her voice lowered. “The problems it can cause a person on the inside.Weknow. So we wanted you to know you’re not alone. Anytime you need any of us, we’re there. You just call, text, email, even send us a message via a pigeon, and we’ll get our behinds to Caroline Springs in seconds. Well, not seconds, since it takes an hour, but you know what I mean, don’t you?” Tears sprung to her eyes. “It’s so good to see you.”

Nodding, tears filled my own eyes as my pulse raced. I said, “It’s really good to see you all also. Thank you for coming, and for having your guys come help—”

“Don’t give us that shit. We’re family. Family fucking helps each other. So there was no question when the men woke us and told us they had to get to Caroline Springs. We just let them go, of course we would,” Deanna said.

“I know. Thank you.”

Deanna sniffed. “No thanks needed either.”

Smiling, I nodded. “I’m grateful for having such an awesome family.”

Deanna winked and said, “So you should be.”

Clary came to my side and wrapped her arms around me. It had been only two months since she’d given birth to her and Blue’s little boy, Austin. I hadn’t had a chance to meet him yet, and I couldn’t wait to see him. I was about to ask when she said, “Anyway, we thought a girls’ day was in order. Drinks, while we talk girl stuff, paint nails, do facemasks, and—”

“Just no waxing,” Low called as she entered with Josie and Mena. “Mena gets into trouble around waxing.”

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