Page 56 of Living Without

“I don’t give a flying fuck what you need. She no longer concerns you. You lost your right to even be near her.” Saxon shoved Jerimiah back.

“Saxon,” I called and quickened my pace over to them. Saxon didn’t listen to me. He got in Jerimiah’s face and whispered something I couldn’t hear. Then shoved him back a step. “Stop!” I ordered, coming to their sides. I laid a hand on Saxon’s arm. He looked down at it and then up to me. I begged, “Please, I need to talk to him.”

His eyes softened. “Angel—”

“Please,” I whispered. Urging him to understand and hoping he knew, even though Saxon and I hadn’t sorted what we were to each other, I wasn’t going back to Jerimiah.

“Fuck,” Saxon cursed on a growl. He turned and stalked off towards his bike. Looking there, I noticed Gypsy was long gone. I glanced over my shoulder to see him sitting with Kelsey, and Kelsey’s worried gaze was on me. I gave her a reassuring smile and then brought my attention back to Jerimiah.

My soul ached. He looked terrible, tired, and withdrawn. Dread flipped my belly. I should have asked someone to have him come to me a long time ago.

No. I should have had the lady balls to seek him out myself, but I was scared because I didn’t want to hurt him, yet, I already had.

“Do you want to sit down over there?” I asked, pointing to another bench seat.

“Sure,” he replied and offered me a small smile. He followed me silently over, and I didn’t have to look to know Saxon watched us the whole way. I could sense his stare burning our way. I made sure to sit across from Jerimiah, even though I wanted to sit next to him, to hug him, and tell him how sorry I was.

Instead, once we were both seated, I reached across the table and took his hand with my shaky one. Something was thrown to the ground in a clatter behind me. I couldn’t let Saxon bother me though. Jerimiah and I had a history. It was time we sorted it out.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. My eyes down on our hands, watching his thumb rub back and forth on the top of my hand. Something that once would have sent butterflies to my stomach, I found no longer did.

He scoffed. “What are you sorry for? I’m the one who’s sorry. If I hadn’t have listened back then, you wouldn’t have… Fuck, Nary. You were taken. I should have protected you. Shit, it killed me to know my girl was in the hands of that motherfucker, and there wasn’t anything I could do.”

Tears filled my eyes. I shook my head back and forth. “No,” I cried. “Please, don’t take anything that happened on board. You aren’t at fault. It was my stupid move that got me taken. It wasn’t your fault, Jerimiah. Please understand that. I’m so sorry to leave you thinking it was. I should have come to see you after… when I was back. It’s not your fault.” I finished on a whimper and dropped my eyes to the table. Our hands gripped each other tighter.

“I was so scared for you,” he admitted quietly.

“I’m okay,” I said automatically. He tugged my hand. I moved my eyes up to his pain-filled ones and gave him a sad smile, then added, “At least, with time I will be.”

“I know you will. You’ve always been a strong woman.” He sighed, glancing over to Saxon and then back to me. “I’m in Hawks now.”

“Jerimiah—”

“Don’t, baby. I know.” He flicked his eyes to Saxon once again and then back to me. He cursed under his breath and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand before he said, “I just wanted to say since I’m in Hawks, you’ll be seeing me around more and with uni still.” He shrugged. “If I can, I want to be in your life, Nary.”

“Jerimiah,” I whispered.

“He has always been your happy ever after. Shit, anyone can see it, and I know you two ain’t there yet, but I know a guy like him, a stubborn prick.” He laughed. I smiled. “He’ll make sure you get the world, and you deserve it, baby.”

“So do you,” I said. His head jerked back, his brow lifting in question. “You deserve the world, Jerimiah. You’re gorgeous, strong, sweet, smart, and if a woman doesn’t bring the world for you, then my sisterhood need their heads checked.”

He threw his head back and laughed. After he settled, he clasped both his hands around mine and said, “If I didn’t think I’d get my head ripped off, I’d hug you, baby.” I giggled. He smiled warmly at me. “I know you have your girls, your family, and him, but if you ever need to talk, I’m always there for you.”

“I know, honey, and it goes both ways. Even if Saxon hates it, I’m there for you, Jerimiah.”

“Appreciate it.” He let go of my hands and leaned back. “Now, before my head explodes from the bad juju vibes he’s sending my way, I think I better get outta here.”

It was my turn to laugh aloud. I stood as he did, and even though Saxon was watching, I strode around the table and hugged Jerimiah tightly. “Don’t be a stranger because of him.”

He snorted. “Never. I enjoy messin’ with him too much.”

I smacked his arm after he shifted back. He smiled, leant in, and kissed my forehead. I felt heat at my back, and when Jerimiah stepped back, he sent me big eyes.

“See you around,” I said, stating right there, in front of the alpha man at my back, that Jerimiah and I would be friends.

Jerimiah winked and replied, “Lookin’ forward to it.” He started off, and then he called over his shoulder, “Later, fuckface.”

“Get lost, dickhead,” Saxon yelled.

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