Page 63 of Working Out West

“Why?”

He choked on his cry, rocking back and forth on his knees. I rested a hand to his lower back, and he stilled.

“I’m n-no good. I’m tainted, tarnished, scarred. I-I wished they’d sent me to God.”

Christ.

I cupped the opposite side of his neck and gently tugged him my way. He did not expect the move, so he fell my way. When his side pushed into my chest, I held him close. “Please, moya lyubov’, do not say that. Do not wish your life away because of whattheydid to you. You are cared for. You have a family, friends, a life worth living. Let us in. Let us show you what you would miss. Let us help you through this.”

He gripped my forearm, and I felt him shake his head. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

A whimper escaped him. He shook his head again, and I knew he cried even when I could not feel his tears.

“I-I don’t deserve it.”

“That is not true, moya lyubov’. I wish you could see you the way I do. No one has ever captured my attention in moments like you have. You are kind, funny, sweet. There is nothing but light within you, West. You deserve nothing but the best for the rest of your life, and I know that if you give us all a chance, we will make sure you have it.” I ran my hand over his hair. “You will have scars, you will remember what they did, but you will get through it and know youarestrong. You lived through hell and came out the other side. You will wear your scars with pride. They are a part of you, and there isnothingabout you that is bad, tarnished, or tainted.”

“Adrik,” he whispered.

I kissed the top of his head. “I worry this is not the time and that it may be selfish of me, but I need you to know why I had a man watching you. You see, moya lyubov’,I could not let you go. Even when you walked away, I could not stop thinking of you. I had to see how you were. Before you, it felt like I was a robot going through each day as they came. I did not see the world until you walked into my home. I regret I left it so long.”

His hand tightened on my arm. “Don’t blame yourself.”

“I will try, as I hope you do the same for you.”

He nodded against me and cleared his throat. “I-I want to talk to someone.”

I closed my eyes, and my skin broke out in goose bumps. Hope blasted into me. “We will find the perfect person.”

“Okay.”

Everything would take time. I wanted to tell him more, but I had already said enough for now.

“Let me help you from the shower?”

“Can I… I need to wash.”

“Drop to your ass. I will assist. As long as you are okay with this.”

He lifted up. The pain etched onto his face hurt my heart. He nodded. “Please.”

Slowly, we eased him to a sitting position, and I stood, picking up a washcloth. I held it behind me. “If you want to cover yourself,” I offered. The washcloth was taken, and I grabbed the shampoo. Moving to his side, I adjusted the spray from his body. “Drop your head forward a little. I wash it so none of it reaches your back and makes it sting.” Though, it looked raw still from the water before.

“Thank you,” West whispered, dropping his chin down to his chest.

“Anything, moya lyubov’.”

“What does it mean?”

“Anything but that,” I teased, and was rewarded with a snort. I squirted some shampoo onto my hand and placed the bottle onto the floor. I lathered it up between my hands and knelt beside him. Gently, I rubbed it through his hair, and West let out a contented sigh. Finally, he relaxed his tense form.

Something I said had gotten through. Happiness did not describe my feelings. He was letting me help. Letting me be here for him.

After rinsing the conditioner from his hair, I could not resist leaning forward and pressing my lips to the back of his neck.

“What was that for?” he asked softly.

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