Page 43 of Swan

“I should’a been the one to stand in front of her so she’d still have him.”

“You think that’d make her feel less pain? You’re her dad, Griz. She’d be just as lost as she is now if it was you.”

“They could’ve had a future together.”

“From where I stood, you weren’t close enough, brother. Fate is a fucking cunt sometimes. There’s a reason it wasn’t you, and him instead. Not sure what the hell it is, but we just gotta ride this nightmare until we figure it out.”

Please, whatever you have in mind for my girl, let this be the only terror she’s witness to.

CHAPTER TEN

SWAN

ONE YEAR LATER

“It’s natural to still have nightmares, Swan,” my psychologist said from the couch opposite me.

It was “natural.”

Everything was “natural.” It didn’t matter that I jumped from a loud noise or hated being around large groups of people or only slept for a few hours before shooting awake, screaming from seeing him soaked in blood as he tried to talk to me.

It wasn’t the first time she’d said that to me, and it probably wouldn’t be the last either.

Nodding, I looked out the window.

“Is there anything else you want to touch on before our session ends?”

“When do I get better? When does the pain stop? When will my chest stop feeling crushed?”

She gave me a soft smile when I glanced back to her. “I don’t have an easy answer for you, Swan. For some, they get through grief quickly and can move on. For others, it’ll stay with them for many years. But then you’re on a different level, Swan. We’re not talking about having someone pass away from old age or sickness. How you lost Lockland was a highly traumatic experience. In other words, there’s no set time to how long it takes to be able to breathe without the grief overwhelming you.”

Tears filled my vision, and I roughly wiped them away.

“You’re doing well, Swan, and you have so much support behind you. When you feel crushed, reach out to someone, please. Anyone. You have my cell number.”

I drew in a deep breath and stood. “Thanks, Patricia.”

“I’ll see you next time.”

Humming under my breath, I walked out of the room, closing the door after me. I kept my gaze down as I made my way out of the building.

My throat felt thick with emotions as I went to my car.

I stopped at the driver’s side and just stared through the window into my car while the words from people over the year ran through my head.

“You’ll get through this, Swan.”

“It’ll be okay.”

“Hang in there.”

“Brighter days are ahead.”

“I know this is tough, but it’ll get better.”

How would it?

How the fuck would it get better?

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