Page 47 of Swan

Maya rested her arms to the window frame and leaned her chin on them. “You okay?”

“He caught me just after a session. It always makes me all… muddled.”

“Understandable. You talk to her about your dreams?”

I rolled my eyes. “She said the same as you. That it’s natural to still have them.”

She grinned. “Gee, I’m smart. What are you doing now?”

“I’ve got the afternoon off. I was going to go home and watch a movie while eating a tub of ice cream.”

“Sounds like a good plan, but what about you come with me to Texas’s shop.”

Home alone sounded better.

I wasn’t good company these days.

People had always seen me as the quiet one. But I was more so now.

“Please?” Maya tried. “I could use some company.”

I swung my gaze up to her as she straightened. “Are you okay?”

“I am. I’ve just been missing you is all. But I don’t want to make you feel like you have to hang. You don’t.”

She wasn’t the only one I’d been distant with.

I’d been cold for so long.

Cold and numb.

Freezing and broken.

It was my fault. It was what I’d wanted.

I’d shut people out to try and deal.

But maybe I could let them in while I still found myself again.

“Where are you parked?”

She smiled, eyes shining. “Down at Coyote’s. Let me jump in, and we can leave your car at my brother’s. It’ll be safe there.” She raced around the car as if she thought I was going to cancel going.

I started the engine fully as soon as she was in with her belt on.

A stab of regret filled me as I drove towards the Harley store.

I shouldn’t be going.

But I needed to change my routine.

Maybe the change would help me see the world in a different light.

Because right now, I was struggling. I went from work to home and had stopped going anywhere else. Friends and family still dropped in to see me, but I no longer went to gatherings at the compound. And when I was home, I stayed in my room. I didn’t want to see the worry or pity in everyone’s gazes.

Because it was my fault they looked that way in the first place. My actions.

I knew they were just trying to support me in any way they could.

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