Page 99 of Swan

On Friday, Drake drove me to the library again with the usual conversation about our planned days or his mild flirty remarks, but nothing new or more. It reinstated my doubts over what I thought had been desire in his gaze.

Tonight may be different, I told myself as I looked in the mirror. I felt pretty, even though I wasn’t wearing anything special. I only had on jeans, heels, and a backless red halter top, which I hadn’t worn in years. My back was mainly covered by my long wavy hair, which needed a redye, and I put on just a little make-up of powder, eyeliner, and mascara.

Still, I felt like there was something different about myself. Something that had me buzzing with happiness when I looked at my reflection.

I cocked my head. Maybe it was because the guilt wasn’t suffocating me so much anymore. Or it could be that I’d finally accepted that it wasn’t wrong of me to like someone. Shrugging, I decided it didn’t matter what it was. I planned to enjoy myself.

I walked out of the room just as Drake exited his.

“Good timing,” I called.

He grinned over at me and then stilled, eyes flaring a little. “Birdy, you look delicious.”

Heat hit my cheeks as I pressed a hand to my swirling belly. “Um, thanks?” Why did that sound like a question. “You, ah, look good too.” He always looked good in his jeans, Henley, club cut, and boots.

He chuckled and came towards me as I clasped my shaky hands behind my back. “You sure you’re good to go?”

Do you want to stay here and entertain me naked instead? I blushed from my own thought and nodded instead.

His gaze ran all over my face, and he smirked. “Little birdy, I’d give anythin’ to read your mind right about now.”

I let out a weird honking laugh and covered my mouth, shaking my head.

His grin was wicked. “I fuckin’ think I would.”

“Master Drake and Mistress Swan, Taro-sama sent for me to retrieve you both. They are waiting out front in the car.”

“Thanks, Katon,” Drake said. Katon bowed and disappeared as Drake reached around me and took one of my hands to lead me away. At the stairs, Drake tucked my hand into his other one while the closest went around my waist to help me down in my heels.

I was already swooning over his words, so really anything extra he did that made me melt was a bonus.

However, there was a risk of me forgetting to breathe and passing out.

Drake assisted me at the car, and I slid in, moving over to the side seat of the limousine since Ruin and Wolf were already on the back pew. Drake climbed in and sat next to me, talking to Ruin about something.

His thigh was pressed against mine, and I couldn’t look away from it. His warmth seeped into me. It wasn’t wrong to want him, right? I wished my own brain had an answer for me. Then again, I’d been told often enough that it wasn’t bad for me to keep living and feeling and wanting.

Lockland would always hold my heart. A part of it, at least, but I was allowed to give the rest away to someone else.

A sudden image swept through my mind of Lockland standing in front of me with blood running from his mouth, coating his chest, as he told me he loved me.

Tears threatened. I fisted my hands and looked away from our touching legs. Why did I picture that now? Was it my own subconscious telling me I was a horrible person?

I don’t want to be horrible.

I’m not.

I don’t think I am.

I still love Lockland. But I do Drake, too, and I don’t want to bury that feeling anymore. I want to feel it.

I glanced over and saw Wolf watching me. He cocked a brow. I shook my head, hoping he wouldn’t ask me if I was okay and draw Ruin’s or Drake’s attention to me.

He nodded once and took his phone out to scroll over something.

The club wasn’t far from where Wolf lived, and when I got out of the car, I noticed we were parked down an alleyway.

“It’s the back entrance,” Wolf told me.

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