Page 38 of Goodnight, Sinners

Something in Shaun’s voice suggested she knew exactly what she’d done. Saskia tried to flick Shaun, but couldn’t coordinate her fingers. “You’re beautiful. As close to perfect as god could get.” She felt a burn of tears as her numb mind decided to compare Shaun’s body to hers. Shaun’s skin was flawless, her eyes sparkled and if that wasn’t enough to hate her, she was also tall and skinny. The exact opposite of Saskia.

“You’re pretty and that’s final.” Her words slurred.

Shaun laughed and leaned over to hug her. “I think you’re going to be okay.”

“Was I ever not?” Saskia asked, confused, then remembered the kidnapping. “Oh right, those assholes drugged me.”

A growl from the corner of the room drew Saskia’s attention, and she swivelled her head to see what kind of dog got in her bedroom. When she spotted Jozef, her heart leapt into her throat and fear radiated out of her like a beacon.

She scanned him and was relieved to see he was wearing a T-shirt and jeans with no visible holster. Still, she scrambled up in the bed and pressed herself against Shaun. He was far less likely to shoot her if she was wrapped around his girlfriend.

Shaun slipped her arms around Saskia, which made her feel like they were a united front against the threat of Saskia’s own family.

Jozef stood and slowly approached the bed, his eyes on her. His expression was one of concern, the same as Shaun’s had been. He didn’t look angry or like he had any intention of hurting her. Still, Saskia had to be sure.

“What are you going to do with me?” She wished her voice sounded less slurred.

Shaun rubbed her arm.

Jozef shook his head.Nothing. I’m not going to hurt you.

“Good, then you can let me go.”

I can’t do that. You’re in the same danger you were in before…

He didn’t finish the sentence but looked away.

“Before you killed my father,” she finished for him, her voice flat.

He nodded.

I’m sorry,he signed.I wish it could have been avoided.

Saskia didn’t know what to say, but the grief she saw on her cousin’s face was real. It matched hers. The sort of angry grief a person felt when the one they loved didn’t have to die. Saskia’s father had chosen his path, and though Jozef had been the one to kill him, he hadn’t wanted things to end that way.

“What about my mother?” Saskia asked. “Do you… do you have her?”

N-O,he admitted.But we’re looking.

“What will you do with her when you find her?”

He didn’t speak, but his hardened expression spoke volumes.

Saskia pushed out of Shaun’s embrace and moved to the edge of the bed, pleading with Jozef. “Don’t kill her. I know she’s been a pain in your ass…” she glanced guiltily back at Shaun, “and she tried to kill Shaun, but she’s my mother. I can’t lose both of my parents.”

Jozef stared at her. It was clear his heart was warring with his head. Saskia took her advantage and continued to push.

“She raised you and she really loved you, even though she fucked everything up. She’s disturbed, Jozef. We’ve all known it for years, but no one ever talked about it. She nearly killed her own sister over a bout of stupid jealousy. Dad should have locked her up back then.”

Jozef’s face softened and Saskia knew she had him. She went in for the kill. “We can keep her confined for the rest of her life. I’ll even volunteer to be the one who looks after her. Just please don’t kill her.”

Jozef looked at her with pity.I’m sorry.

Saskia collapsed back onto the bed. She understood his reasoning, understood why he had to kill Dasha, but understanding didn’t repair the tear in her heart that kept getting bigger.

Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of the way everything had changed. Life as she knew it was over. She had no idea where she was going now or what her place in the family was. Would she be allowed to go back to school? Would she still have to make an advantageous mafia marriage?

She was too tired to ask, but eventually she would need answers to her questions so her future would feel a little less uncertain.

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