Page 97 of Goodnight, Sinners

“And you feel you should make this choice for him?”

Shaun could feel her face heating. Another secret. But this one was different. After finishing her research, Shaun had concluded that Jozef could have done the same digging if he’d wanted. It was telling that he’d never made moves to have his voice box repaired. Shaun didn’t want him to ever think she saw him as less than he was because he communicated differently.

Yes, a secret, but not one that would damage Jozef’s trust in her. One that would protect his feelings.

Ivan studied her face and finally, when it was clear she wouldn’t respond, he said, “Perhaps you will fit in better among the Bratva than I originally thought. You enjoy playing god, don’t you? Good day, Mrs. Koba. My regards to your husband.”

Chapter Forty-Three

Fatima giggled at Shaun’s description of a drunk Jozef.

“He must’ve been a bear the next morning,” Fatima mused. “It seems so out of character for him to overindulge.”

Shaun laughed and sipped the rich burgundy liquid from her wine glass. “He was certainly growling like a bear. It took a lot of convincing before he would let me take care of him, but I finally got some painkillers and toast into him and he turned back into a human. Later, he told me he rarely drank that much and didn’t plan on ever doing it again.”

“Famous last words.”

“Yes,” Shaun agreed. “Though Jozef is usually pretty responsible. I think it was the excitement of meeting with the other Vor for the first time. I wonder if the other wives discovered drunk husbands in their rooms that night?”

Shaun was filling her mother in on the details of her trip to Russia with Jozef. The five days spent at the palace were indeed the vacation Jozef had suggested they would be. Except for evening meals and one more meeting for Jozef, they were left alone to occupy themselves. Shaun rode a horse for the first time in her life and discovered she much preferred looking at them than riding on them.

She and Jozef made a trip into the town to shop for souvenirs, meeting with Cooper and Ayaan and taking in the local sites. Truly, Shaun had enjoyed her time in Russia far more than she thought she would.

She hadn’t seen Ivan again after their meeting, but the shadow of their conversation never quite left her until she and Jozef were in the air on their private jet and on their way back home. She understood why Ivan Siberia was once known as the fiercest mobster in Russia. Even at his current age, he still held sway over the rest of the Bratva.

Shaun was sitting at the stool in her mother’s kitchen enjoying the sights and smells of one of her favourite dishes. Shaun’s father had also loved bademjan, an eggplant and tomato stew.

Fatima loved to cook. She’d often told Shaun that it was how Persian mothers showed their love, by stuffing their children full and sending them to doctor school. Shaun had risen to the occasion on both counts. She loved her mother’s cooking and she’d become a surgeon.

“Tell me,” Fatima said in the tone of voice that suggested Shaun was about to hear something she wouldn’t like. “When will I see my grandchildren? I’ve been waiting for months and still I don’t detect a bump or a glow.”

Shaun winced and took a long drink of her wine before replying. “The glow is a myth. Most women sweat more because they produce heat from carrying the extra weight. The sweat can bead on the forehead, causing a glow.”

“Don’t change the subject,” Fatima said sharply.

“I’m sorry, mom. It’s just not something I really want to talk about.”

Fatima must have caught the wistful note in Shaun’s voice because she turned from the stove and looked at her daughter carefully.

“Is everything okay?”

Tears formed in Shaun’s eyes and she almost started sobbing. It was a simple question, but she couldn’t answer it because she knew if she opened her mouth, a wail would come out.

Fatima saw her distress and rushed around the island, wrapping her arms around her daughter. “Tell me what’s going on.”

Shaun twisted on the stool, hugging her mother back. The tears began falling despite her effort to hold them back.

“Come on, let’s sit on the couch where we can be comfortable.”

Fatima held Shaun’s hand as they sat, stroking her arm gently.

“I just…” a sob escaped, and Shaun swiped impatiently at her tears. “I’m a world-renowned surgeon! I can fix tumours that are supposed to be inoperable. I save lives. I travel to impossible places and do impossible things, but I can’t have a baby!”

It was a jumble of words that probably didn’t make much sense, but Fatima seemed to get the gist. “How do you know you can’t have a baby?” she asked softly.

“Because we’ve never used birth control and we have plenty of… “ Shaun drifted off, pressing her fingers under her eyelids. “We should’ve gotten pregnant by now.” Again, she paused, then added, “I didn’t even know I wanted kids. My career has always been so important, I didn’t want to think about taking time off for babies.”

“And now that you’re married and have the income to support a child while working, it feels like a real possibility.”

---