Page 76 of The Red Queen

It didn’t work.

“You look like hell and smell like vomit.”

She sighed, her shoulders slumping.

He felt her head. “No temperature.” He looked at her critically. “How long has this been going on for?”

Desi thought about lying to him. He’d been busy that week, usually out of bed before her. The nausea almost always hit in the morning when a smell got to her or after she’d eaten a few bites of breakfast. She’d escaped Giovanni’s company quickly enough to allay suspicion, but this morning, she’d slapped a hand over her mouth and run from the table, knocking her chair over in her haste.

“About a week,” she admitted.

He raised a brow, and she could tell from the stiffening of his shoulders that he wasn’t pleased she’d kept her illness from him.

“I wanted to be sure.”

“That it’s pregnancy and nothing else?” he asked shrewdly.

Her cheeks burned at the word pregnancy, but she nodded.

“You should have told me right away,” he said, his tone impatient. “Baby or not, I want to know what’s going on with you. You shouldn’t have to deal with any kind of sickness on your own.”

A rush of happiness hit her at his words, erasing some of the panic she felt every time her mind drifted toward the possibility of pregnancy. Though her symptoms pointed to pregnancy, she hadn’t been able to fully admit it to herself yet.

“Come.” He took her hand and led her upstairs to their bedroom. She was grateful they were putting distance between her and the breakfast table, which still held the nasty eggs that had made her vomit.

He led her through the bedroom and into their huge ensuite washroom, where he opened a drawer, rifled through, and came up with a long pink box.

She stepped toward him for a closer look and realized he was holding a pregnancy test.

“How long have you had that?” she asked sharply.

“I like to be prepared, Desi.” He turned to her, holding the box out.

She took it automatically.

“Use this and let me know the results.” He turned and walked away, closing the door behind him.

She tried to read the box, but her panicking mind kept wandering. What if she was pregnant? What if she wasn’t pregnant? What kind of mother would she be? Terrible, obviously. She didn’t know the first thing about parenting.

After a moment, she shook away her distraction. If she didn’t take the test, Giovanni would come back in and try to force her.

She opened the box, read the package, and then peed on the stick. It wasn’t easy. She was nervous, upset, worried, and angry. It took a few minutes of thinking about oceans and waterfalls before she could go.

When she finished, she washed her hands and set the stick on the edge of the sink. Her job finished, Desi sank to the tiles of the washroom, gripped her head, and let the panic take over. She felt as though the floor was dropping out on her. She’d been fighting the illness and confusion all week. The idea of pregnancy had become a monster in her mind. Something she couldn’t deal with.

She must have sat on the floor for a long time, too long because Giovanni banged on the door and told her he was coming in. She didn’t move as he entered, his face registering alarm when he saw her.

“Are you hurt?” he demanded.

She shook her head.

He picked up the stick from the edge of the sink and brought it up so he could read the results. “Positive.”

Desi flung herself at the toilet again, this time throwing up from fear and anxiety.

She was still heaving when she felt Giovanni’s hand on her back, then sliding into her hair to hold the mass away from her face. She immediately felt better without her messy, too-warm hair getting in the way. She’d thought it was a myth, the boyfriend holding the hair while his girlfriend was sick thing. Apparently not.

“Gio,” she whispered, turning her head to look at him with desperate eyes. “I don’t think I can do this.”

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