Page 17 of Shuttered Hearts

Quinn is beautiful, but when she laughs, her smile brightens her face, and she is gorgeous. In that moment, I know I wish only ever to see Quinn when she’s happy. Yet I also know that won’t be possible. Soon, we’ll all be heartbroken over our loss.

“I’m kind of surprised we’ve never had a run in with each other over the last five years. I know when it came to your tripsover the holidays, I was always back home myself. But any of those other trips, I don’t know. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say I see at least one person from your family most days.” I chuckle, getting a little more comfortable now we’ve moved on from the heavier topic of her father.

“Maybe the universe thought we weren’t ready for that.”

“You believe in that? Fate?”

“Not fate, no, but something else? I don’t know.” She messes with the papers on her desk, straightening them into neat piles. “It’s a nice thought, though. That there’s some force out there helping guide us in the right direction. Not necessarily God, but something bigger than us offering us a guiding light, if we choose to follow it.”

I was raised believing in God, but I don’t believe the same things I was raised to anymore. I’ve seen too many hardships in the world for me to have those same beliefs. I may not believe in that God anymore, but is there something bigger out there? I don’t know. I’m open to the idea of it, though.

“That is a comforting thought.” I use the moment of silence to change the subject again. “Have you heard how Scott is doing?”

“Yeah, Emily sent a text not too long ago. He made it through surgery with flying colors. He should be discharged soon. We’re trying to figure out the timing of everything. Emily and Caleb are both on shift this afternoon, so they can’t bring Dad home, and I’m supposed to pick Max up from school.”

“I can help. I have planning sixth period, so I’m available starting at two,” I offer.

“You sure?”

The way she looks at me has me shifting slightly. I shove my hands in my pockets to stop myself. “Absolutely. It’s not a problem.”

“That would be great. Could you pick Max up from school?”

“Yeah, sure thing. He’s got soccer this evening, right?” I ask, knowing the answer.

I play in a pickup soccer game most Thursdays. A few years ago, Scott brought Max to a game I had convinced Caleb to play as a fill-in for a guy who couldn’t make it that week. While Caleb never came back, Scott and Max did.

Max ended up getting really interested in the sport, and since Scott firmly believed in kids being involved in extracurricular activities, he signed Max up.

Scott made it a point to be at almost everything Max did, but soccer was the one thing outside of art I had always been obsessed with, and Scott deserved to have some time for himself. So, I asked if I could take Max to his weekly practice. And until shortly before Quinn came home, I had been taking Max.

“Crap, yeah, I totally forgot about that.” Quinn grabs her phone again. “I have got to remember to actually look at my calendar.”

“No worries. I’ll drop him off after soccer, if that’s okay with you.” I look at her. “I can take him back to my place, help him with his homework, and get him dinner before taking him to practice.” It’s actually what became our routine on days he had soccer.

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have his soccer stuff with him.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. We can swing by to grab it before practice.” I think for a moment before deciding to be completely honest with her. “I normally take him to his soccer practices. I played when I was his age. Through college, actually. It’s something I wanted to do with him, and Scott never seemed to mind.”

“Oh, then, of course. That would honestly be a major help.” She sets her phone down and stands from her seat, coming around the corner of her desk to stand a few feet in front of me.“I’m sorry you haven’t been taking him the last few weeks.” She wraps her arms around her waist, hugging herself.

“It’s fine.” I stand from my leaning position against the table. I didn’t realize how tall she was when I stood next to her yesterday. Even with me being six-foot-five, she easily comes up to right below my chin.

“Maybe we’ve all been so busy and focused on Dad, it really did slip everyone’s mind. Or maybe, they were afraid to hurt my feelings. Whatever the case may be, I don’t want my coming home to change anything about how you interact with my family,” she says quietly, clearly upset.

“It won’t.” I want to reach out and comfort her, but I hold back.

“It already has. I’ve been taking Max to practice since I’ve been home.” I open my mouth, but she steps forward, putting her hand out to stop me. “Not that I mind, I don’t. But there is no reason to change that routine.”

“Quinn—”

She doesn’t let me speak, she pushes forward, a wobble in her voice. “Just so you know, I’m happy you’ve been such an important part of their lives. I don’t want that to change.”

I forget whatever is holding me back from offering her comfort and take a step toward her, placing my hand on her raised one. I’m instantly taken back to the spark I felt yesterday when we shook hands.

“Quinn. I was the one who suggested I take a break from being around so much.” I pull my hand back from hers after they drop to her side and realize I’m practically holding her hand. “I wanted you all to have a chance to find your new normal, without interference from me.”

“But you’re part of that new normal,” she says urgently, stepping forward again. “You’re all important to each other, that shouldn’t change because I’m home.”

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