Page 85 of Shuttered Hearts

“I don’t know, Bug. Have we not come here for a drink once?” Declan asks his hand on my lower back, guiding me to the table where Caleb and Emily are already sitting.

“No, we’ve only gone to The Diner.”

“Man, why are you with me?” he jokes, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“Well, I mean …” My voice trails off, my eyes tracking up and down his body, a coy smile on my face.

“Okay. Ew. Is this what the whole night is going to be like?” Ava asks, stopping at the table's edge as Declan and I take our seats.

“I’m sorry.” I laugh. “It won’t happen again. Tonight is supposed to be fun, a night for all of us to hang out and have a good time.” I reach for her hand, pulling her toward the empty seat beside me.

“I’m going to get a drink before I sit down.” She pulls back gently from me. “Do you all need anything?”

“I’ll take whatever IPA they have on tap,” Declan says.

“We’re good,” Caleb says, gesturing to his and Emily’s drinks.

“I’ll take a water. Thanks, Ava,” I say, offering her a small smile before she walks over to the bar.

“Why aren’t you drinking?” Caleb squints his eyes at me.

I inhale a deep breath and hold it for a second. I guess this is the first time I’ve been in this kind of environment with Caleb, one where it’s expected I would drink. While I might have the occasional glass of wine or beer at home, it’s only when I am at home, and it’s only one. Drugs were my biggest problem, but drinking was still a crutch I leaned on heavily after my attack, so it’s not something I do often, and not in an environment like this. Though, I know I’m as safe as possible with Declan and Caleb by my side.

I feel Declan’s hand on my leg and glance over at him. He offers me a comforting smile, telling me he’ll support whatever decision I make.

I turn back to Caleb and tell him the truth. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it.” I take a second to gather my thoughts and see Caleb tense. “After my attack, I didn’t handle it well, as you know.”

“Quinn—” Caleb reaches for me, and I let him place his hand on my arms, but I don’t let him continue talking.

“No. Let me say this, please.” I wait for his nod before I continue. “I drank a lot, and I tried a lot of drugs before landing on cocaine. I’m clean now and have been for about two years, and while I don’t consider alcohol a problem for myself, I still don’t drink often, and not in this kind of environment.” Declan squeezes my leg again. “I know I’m safe with all of you, but it’s not something I want to risk.”

“Quinn,” Caleb repeats, his voice wavering slightly. “I-I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry I wasn’t there more.”

“No. Caleb, none of it is your fault.” Now I reach for his hand, squeezing tightly. “There was nothing you could have done for me. I wouldn’t have let you. I mean, I barely let you stay the twoweeks you did. And I didn’t want any of you to know about what was going on. I don’t blame any of you for what happened during that year.”

Caleb doesn’t say anything, but I can see the anguish on his face. I know there’s nothing else I can tell him to make any of this better. He’ll have to work through it, but I know it’s good I told him instead of keeping it buried deep.

“I’m okay now,” I tell him. “More than okay. Being home with all of you has helped more than anything else. I know it’s a shitty reason, but your calling when you did couldn’t have been better for me. I swear, I’m okay.”

“I love you, sis,” Caleb says, squeezing my hand.

“I love you too. Now, enough of this. Where is Ava with our drinks?” I let go of my brother’s hand and turn to look for Ava, but she’s no longer standing by herself at the bar. Gage Flynn is leaning against the bar beside her, a charming smirk gracing his face.

“What is he doing?” Declan asks, his voice going deep, sounding a little like he doesn’t like what he’s seeing.

“Well, it looks like he’s flirting with your sister,” Caleb says, a mocking smirk on his face. “Not so fun to watch someone hitting on your sister, now is it?” he jokes, leaning back in his seat.

Declan pushes to get out of his seat, but I stop him with a hand on his arm. “No, you don’t. Your sister can take care of herself. If she doesn’t want his attention, she’ll let him know.”

“But—”

“No buts, leave her alone.” I pull his arm, bringing him back to his seat, where he pouts, causing the rest of us to laugh.

As we’re laughing, we hear a commotion from the other end of the bar. We all turn to look to find my mother stumbling over someone’s outstretched leg.

“What is she doing here?” Caleb asks, his voice going dark.

“She’s been staying in town because of the custody case,” I tell him, watching as she turns to the person who tripped her. I stand from my seat, moving toward my mother.

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