I know my poison. She’s processing. She’s all up in her head. It’s warring with her heart, and only a stupid man steps into that line of fire.
So I sit in my car, parked across from Delta’s, watching Vale’s silhouette through the window when Jace calls, worried.
“She’s being nice and quiet,” he whispers, “and it’s all wrong. You have to do something.”
“I will.” Or a fearless man. Or one in love. Yep, here I go, stepping into Vale’s war—okay, because I started it—while I answer him using my Bluetooth.
I see Jace pacing the porch outside, his phone pressed to his ear.
“Just answer me something.”
“What?” he grunts.
I’ve been wanting to ask him. Ever since Vale’s initiation, I feel connected to Jace. Like he’s in pain, and I can feel it, too.
“What about you? What’s wrong with you and don’t bullshit me. I know it’s something.”
“What’s wrong with any man?” He huffs, “Love.”
It’s not Vale. I know it. Jace doesn’t burn with furious passion and insane urges like I do for her. Yes, Jace would kill for her, too, but he doesn’t live for Vale as I do.
It’s someone else.
“Who?”
“She’s married,” he answers. “End of story.”
No, it’s not.
Marriage is when many stories begin.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
VALE
I lockmy vintage red bike to the iron gate by my apartment and think of Nash. The fact that he’s following me everywhere makes it impossible not to. I swear I can feel him parked across the street somewhere, protecting me.
It makes this hollow ache I’ve had in my heart since childhood feel open and vulnerable. One man was supposed to fill it, but another man did.
People joke about “daddy issues,” but they’re not funny. They’re real. They hurt deeply and to the bone.
Anytime someone who was supposed to love and protect you hurts you instead? It marks your soul.
And sure, it affects the love you seek from others until you learn to love yourself.
I do. I love myself enough to admit Nash isn’t my father figure. He’s more. He’s my soulmate.
He’s my Happy Meal.
I just need my heart to catch up to my head. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to figure out what’s normal in our relationship and what’s trauma left over from my dad and everything else. I get it. I read the books.
Ironically, my dad called me this week. He wants to talk and mend things with Blair and me. He deserves a chance, and I deserve to forgive him. It’s for me, not for him. I deserve to heal.
So, can I forgive Nash, too?
Or is it acceptance?
The catch is there’s nothing normal about our not-mafia-mafia relationship. I can’t find those answers in a book.