Page 49 of My Big Fat Fake Alien

“Raven,” I bark, my voice hoarse. I don’t even know if she can hear me over the chaos. “Run!”

She doesn’t run. Of course she doesn’t. Instead, she grabs a fallen stave from the ground and swings it into the back of a Grolgath’s knees, dropping it with a satisfying thud. “Not a chance, Scales,” she shouts back, her voice steady even though I can see the fear in her eyes. “You’re not dying on me.”

I want to argue, but I don’t have the breath. Another Grolgath lunges at me, and I barely manage to sidestep, driving my elbow into its ribs. The sound of cracking bone is drowned out by a sudden roar. It’s not from the Grolgath.

A blur of golden scales barrels into the fray, a whirlwind of fists and fury. The newcomer grabs two Grolgath by the necks and slams their heads together with a sickening crack. A third tries to flank him, but he spins, delivering a kick that sends the creature flying into the wall. The impact shakes the corridor.

I blink through the blood and sweat. “Who the hell?—?”

The figure turns, and my jaw drops as recognition hits me like a charging bull. “Father?”

Vrahmin grins, his fangs glinting in the harsh light. “About time you showed up, boy. I was starting to think I’d have to do all the heavy lifting myself.”

I’m too stunned to speak. My father—mydeadfather—is standing here, alive and kicking Grolgath ass like it’s a Tuesday night at the tavern. I shake my head, trying to process the impossible. “How? You were… you were on the street. Your hearts?—”

“Medics?” he interrupts, cackling like a hyena. “I don’t need no fucking medic! I just dragged myself over to a street light, kicked it until it fell over, and then jammed my tongue into the light socket like I was giving an odex a rim job! Kick-started my own hearts.”

Raven’s eyes go wide. “Is… is that what really happened?”

Vrahmin winks. “Maybe. Let’s go stop this Armageddon so we can get back to the party!”

The Grolgath recover from their shock and close in again, but with my father at my side, the tide turns. He fights like a demon unleashed, his movements precise and brutal. For every strike I land, he lands two. Together, we clear the hallway, leaving a trail of crumpled bodies in our wake.

When the last Grolgath falls, I turn to my father, still struggling to believe my eyes. “You’re… you’re really here.”

He claps me on the shoulder, his grip firm. “Damn right I am. Now quit gawking like a hatchling and let’s finish this. That asteroid’s not gonna stop itself.”

Raven steps up beside me, her stave still clutched in her hands. “I like your dad,” she says, a smirk tugging at her lips. “He’s batshit crazy, but I like him.”

Vrahmin laughs, deep and booming. “I like her too, boy. She’s got spine. Now let’s move!”

The control room is a sprawl of flashing lights, holographic displays, and enough buttons to give a Pi’Rell engineer amigraine. The air smells like ozone and desperation. The asteroid launch sequence is already underway, the countdown ticking away on a massive screen. Red letters screamINITIALIZATION IRREVERSIBLEat us like we’re idiots.

I slam my fist against the console. “It’s locked out. We can’t stop it.”

“Of course we can’t,” Raven mutters, already scanning the room. Her eyes dart from panel to panel, zeroing in on a smaller display tucked in the corner. “But we don’t need to stop it. We just need to redirect it.”

My father, ever the optimist, grunts. “And how, exactly, do you plan to redirect a million-ton rock hurtling toward Earth?”

“Easy,” she says, fingers flying over the keyboard. “We use the station’s maneuvering jets to flip the whole thing around. Point the asteroid into deep space instead of Yellowstone.”

I blink. “That’s… actually not insane.”

She smirks. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Scales.”

“Don’t get cocky, girl,” my father barks, though there’s a hint of approval in his tone. “Just make it happen.”

Raven’s hands are a blur, her focus razor-sharp. The consoles chirp and beep in protest, but she doesn’t flinch. “Thrusters are coming online. Brace yourselves.”

The station lurches violently, throwing me into the wall. My shoulder takes the brunt of the impact, and I wince. Raven grabs onto the console for dear life, her knuckles white. My father, ever the show-off, plants his feet wide and rides it out like he’s surfing a gravity wave.

“You did warn us,” he says, grinning like a madman.

The station groans, a deep, metallic sound that makes my scales crawl. The holographic display shifts, showing the asteroid’s trajectory curving away from Earth, out into the void. The red letters on the screen flicker and change:LAUNCH SUCCESSFUL. TARGET RELEASED.

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “We did it. Weactuallydid it. We saved the world.”

Raven turns to me, arms crossed, one eyebrow arched. “What do you meanwe? It wasmyidea. All you guys know how to do is smash stuff.”

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