Page 26 of My Big Fat Fake Alien

CHAPTER 11

RAVEN

The lights of Manhattan twinkle below me like fallen stars. My legs dangle over the edge of the brownstone as a cool breeze whips my hair around my face. Up here, eight stories above the street, the city noise fades to a distant hum.

"What am I doing?" The words escape in a whisper.

My fingers trace over the rough concrete ledge, remembering how Karc's scales felt under my touch. The memory of his hands on my body, his mouth claiming mine, sends heat rushing through me. But the warmth quickly turns cold.

"Not going there again." I pull my knees up to my chest. "Not letting another man inside my walls."

Marcus had seemed perfect too, until he convinced me I was worthless as an artist. Jason made me believe I was lucky he even looked at me. And Derek... Derek almost destroyed everything I'd built.

A bitter laugh escapes my throat. Here I am, worried about letting a seven-foot-tall alien lizard man break my heart, when his otherworldly nature is the least of my concerns. The fact that he comes from another planet? Whatever. The superhuman strength? No big deal.

But the way he looks at me like I'm precious? The gentle way he touched me, even while binding me in that alien sex harness? That terrifies me more than any of his inhuman traits.

Madison helped piece me back together after the others. Reminded me daily that I had value beyond what any man saw in me. Helped me find my voice again through my art.

I rest my chin on my knees, watching the city lights blur through tears I refuse to let fall. "I can't do it. I won't survive having my heart ripped out again."

The fire escape rattles under my boots as I slide down the downspout to street level. My hands burn from the friction, but I’ve had worse. The city swallows me up as I blend into the late-night crowd, keeping my hood low and my face hidden. My body is still humming from everything that happened, and my mind is a chaotic mess of emotions I don’t know how to untangle.

By the time I reach our apartment, the adrenaline’s worn off, and I’m just tired. I fumble with my keys, but Madison throws the door open before I can even get them out.

“Where the hell have you been?” she demands, her voice sharp with worry. Her hair’s a mess, and she’s still in her gaming pajamas. “I was about to call the cops, Raven!”

“Calm down, Maddy,” I mutter, stepping inside. “I’m fine.”

She squints at me. “Fine? You’re paler than a ghost and—” Her eyes catch the marks on my neck, the faint red lines from the ropes still visible on my wrists. She freezes. “Holy hippo spit, Raven. Yousleptwith him, didn’t you?”

My face flushes. “I—no! I mean, it’s not?—”

“Don’t even try to lie to me.” She grabs my arm, pulling me into the light. “Look at you! Hickeys, scratches, and... are those rope burns? Raven, whathappened?”

“It’s not what you think,” I stammer, pulling my jacket tighter around me. But the memory of Karc’s hands on my skin,his voice low and commanding, flashes through my mind, and I can’t stop the flush that spreads across my cheeks.

Madison’s eyes widen. “Oh my god. Youdid. Not only did you sleep with him, but it looks like he showed you a really good time.” She pauses, then adds, “Frankly, I’m jealous.”

“Maddy!” I protest, but the heat in my face gives me away. I can’t help it—the memories come rushing back, and a stupid, giddy grin tugs at the corners of my mouth.

“Youare!” she shrieks, pointing at me. “Look at you! You’re glowing! So, how was it? Like, on a scale from one to ‘oh my god, I think I swallowed my tongue,’ how good was it?”

I groan, covering my face with my hands. “You have no idea how good,” I admit, my voice muffled.

Madison squeals, bouncing on her toes. “Details, Raven! I need details! Did he—wait, is this about that alien thing? Oh my god, are you going to have hisbabies?”

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. My grin falters, and the weight of everything crashes back down. The fear, the doubt, the terror of letting someone in again. My chest tightens, and I can’t meet her eyes.

“I’m going to bed,” I mumble, turning toward my room.

“Raven—” Madison’s voice softens, and she reaches out to touch my arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean?—”

“It’s fine,” I say quickly, pulling away. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just... tired.”

She watches me go, her expression a mix of concern and guilt, but I don’t have the energy to reassure her. I close my bedroom door behind me and sink onto the bed, my head in my hands. The warmth of Karc’s touch still lingers on my skin, but the storm in my heart isn’t going anywhere.

My phone's alarm jerks me awake with its angry buzz. Noon already? The memories of last night flood back, making mycheeks burn. I grab my phone to silence it and spot a text from work about the charity car wash.

---