Page 31 of White Charms and Dark Secrets

I take a deep breath, and then nod, indicating for her to continue. I don’t trust myself to speak at the moment. All I want to do is scream and shake some sense into her.

“I set out that night to go see him, my only intent to spell him into leaving you alone.” She pauses, taking a few breaths before continuing. “He was doing to you what he did to me before I put a stop to it, and I couldn't let him stalk you too. When I arrived at his apartment, I found out he still had more pictures. Pictures of you, of me, of other women. He also took so many fucking pictures of me doing magic, and goddess only knows how many more he kept hidden elsewhere.

I confronted him. Turns out he'd discovered that I'd erased his memories before, and he'd been pushing you to see if you were like me, too. With him finding a way around the first memory spell, I knew it wouldn't be wise to cast another. I tried to threaten him into silence, and that's when he lunged at me with a knife.

Kayla, he was willing to kill me, but I reacted first. I used a black curse I'd read about, one that stopped his heart in an instant. I panicked, and too much time passed to restart it before I could even comprehend what I’d really done.” The tears are fully racing down her face right now, but she doesn't bother wipe them away.

“There must have been another way, Lizzy. Surely there was something else you could have done?” I demand, not able to accept her account of that night. She could have used a knockout spell to keep herself safe and to give her time to think of another solution. She’d reacted impulsively, and it had deadly consequences. “You let me be a suspect too. You just threw me into the deep end with your actions and then left me to sink,” I add, the hurt from that flaring again.

“Maybe there was... but I was scared, Kay. I reacted without thinking, and now someone's dead. I should feel remorse, but I don't regret that he's dead. He was an awful, vile person, and I just can’t find any sorrow in myself for removing him from this world. But I do regret that I hurt you. That you dealt with so much because of my actions. I'm so sorry. I should have told you the truth sooner.” She stands and begins to move closer to me, but I step back.

“Please don't come closer,” I whisper, feeling awful when a pained look spreads across her face, but I can’t help how I feel.

“What are you going to do?” she asks, her voice sounding defeated.

I gaze at her for a moment and think. Maybe the right thing to do is to hand her in... but having been to The Tomb, I can’t send her there. She did a terrible thing. I can't justify murder, no matter the reason, but she's scared and she's still my friend. I can't cause her additional suffering, and I know what would happen to her down there would destroy her completely.

“Nothing. I'm going to do nothing,” I respond, watching a mixture of emotions play across her face. Relief, sadness, and worst of all—uncertainty.

“I don't know what to say. I suppose thank you is a good start,” She shifts awkwardly on her feet, and I can almost feel how nervous she is of my reaction, which only makes me hurt even more for what I'm about to do.

“Don't say anything. When I said I would do nothing, I meant it. I won't tell anyone how to find you, but I can't stay here, I can't do this. I've fucked up enough in the last few days, without adding this to my plate too. Because I care about you, and because I know what I would be sending you to endure, I won't speak of this to anyone, but we can't remain friends. I just can't do it. I'm sorry.” I turn on my heel and rush for the door, unable to look at her anymore.

“Kayla,” Lizzy calls, and I freeze. “One day you'll understand that nothing is black or white. Shades of grey prevail in all things. Even death. Sometimes people don't deserve to live.”

Her words send a shudder down my back, and I make haste, exiting the room and pulling the door shut behind me. Rhydian is waiting just across from the door, perched against the wall.

“She admitted it?” he guesses, keeping his voice soft. I nod my head, feeling more tears creeping down my face. I don’t know how he’d known, but he was right. I feel terrible for having ever accused him. He may have a lot of darker aspects to him, the least of which is the fact he freaking owns a hotspot that criminals frequent, but something tells me he’s not a cold-blooded killer.

“That was a sucky gift. It hurt,” I mutter, as he pulls me into a hug.

“The truth always does, sweetheart. But you needed to hear it. I know it’s hard now, but maybe she didn’t mean for it to happen? She remains the same person, the same friend as before, you just know this one more thing about her. A bad thing, granted. The lying must only accentuate the betrayal you feel.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for me to forgive her actions, and I don’t think I can work for you anymore either… I’m sorry. I knew there were criminals that come in there, but I figured they’d be career criminals. More like grand theft than murder, you know? I was thinking, that night they arrested me, they didn’t seem surprised to pick up a murderer. I don’t know if I’m able to work there, knowing how bad it is, knowing there may be lots more people like that in there,” I ramble against his chest, though I’m not sure how much of my muffled words he understood. I don’t pull away though. I need the comfort he provides, even as I worry about him.

“It’s okay, I understand, Kayla. It surprised me you wanted to stay after what happened, anyway. Most of the criminals are the career kind, but yes, some of them probably have killed. It’s not like I request their records upon arrival,” he jokes, but it falls flat, and he sighs. “When I took over The Rift, it’d already made a name for itself astheplacefor criminals to congregate. I simply keep the place running. So, other than adding in the enchanted bar, I haven’t changed it much.”

“Why did you take it over then?” I probe.

“It’s complicated. Someday I’ll tell you about it,” he remarks, secretive as usual.

“You won't tell anyone about Lizzy, right?” I ask, needing him to promise me. I might hate what she did, but nonetheless, I need to make sure she’s safe.

He pulls back and looks into my eyes with his beautiful green ones. “I promise I won't tell a soul. Not even Darren if you don't want me too. I did this for you, for your sanity. You had doubts inside of you, and they would have ravaged you from the inside if you hadn’t confronted them. My gift to you was certainty so that you could find some peace with this.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, leaning my head against his chest and wrapping my arms back around him. This situation sucked, but that didn’t detract from Rhydian’s rightness. The truth was what I needed, and I’m glad I have it. “Please, can you take me home now?”

Sixteen

Just One Last Date

Once I cry out all my tears and apply a little makeup, I braid my hair into a messy French plait and call myself ready to face the world.

Rhydian left a couple hours earlier, after promising again to keep our outing today a secret. He even toned down his incorrigible flirting and just let me talk out all of my dumb feelings over what had happened. With nobody else to talk to about it, I was grateful for him being willing to just listen. It’s not that I don’t trust Darren enough to tell him, but right now I’d feel guilty laying even more of my emotional baggage, not to mention unlawful activities, on him considering the current state of our relationship. Or lack thereof.

Now, however, I need to go and find Kier. I managed to lose his card somehow, so calling him was out. I'm beyond nervous about actually having to go and see him in person. It's made even worse because I'll be lying to him by omission by not telling him about Lizzy.

How the hell am I going to explain this mess?

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