Page 4 of Ngozii's Plight

I am not worthy of her, this I know, but can I change to be? Looking within myself, I find no answers, only a desire to be better, to be whatever she needs me to be. There is no voice shouting at me to take what I deserve or fight back, only a small voice telling me to follow my heart. How do I do that when I’ve never done it before? I’m not even sure I have a heart anymore to use.

Will that other voice come back, demanding things of me that I’m not sure I want to give? I had a heart once, a long time ago, but Father shattered it like he did Mother’s. If I find it, am I doomed to lose it all over again, or can I cling to it and rebuild myself the way I should have always been? Am I my father because of his blood or his teachings? Only time will tell.

Looking up at Tavionna as I rise to my feet, everything I ever believed about life is shattering around me. I want nothing more than to worship her, love her, serve her, as the goddess that she is. Feelings more foreign to me than this land crash through me, and it takes all that I have to not fight them. I can only hope that she’ll let me stay as I sort through these feelings and find my heart so that I can be here for her.

“I’ll repeat, what has brought you to us, Xenshay?” Her voice is like the smoothest honey, and I swallow thickly to prepare myself to speak.

“I come from Tumbilion Sayaris, a small village in the woods.” Her plump pink lips part as she lets out a small gasp, her silver and purple eyes widening, and I know she feels it, too. I stare at her for a long moment, waiting for her to say something, anything, but when eyes begin to bounce between us, she clears her throat and gestures for me to continue.

“I have come a long way to seek a new life, one of peace and quiet. I would like to start over, if you’ll grant me your mercy to do so, and I promise to be a contributing citizen.”

Her eyes study me closely, her long black hair is down, parts of it intricately braided and swooped around her, little flowers embedded in the strands. One set of her bright pink arms cross over her chest while the other two hang at her sides as she begins to step around me. I fist my hands together in front of me as she passes me. Her sheer clothing slides along my arm, her scent wafts to me as she flicks her hair back, letting it hit me.

My fists are the only thing hiding the evidence of my arousal at her nearness, and I stand very still, waiting to see what she’ll do. She has every right to cast me out of her home. I’m an outsider, and were I still following my father’s ways, I’d kick me out. However, she isn’t my father, not even close. As she rounds the back of my body and comes to stand in front of me again, it’s at that silent moment that I realize just how quiet my mind is. My father is no longer yelling at me. I’m my own man, finally free to make my own decisions. I nearly grin but refrain, as I don’t want to try explaining this internal struggle to anyone, least of all her just yet.

Tavionna silently stares at her personal guard, a tall, toned, delectable piece of man. His close cropped purple hair is vastly different to my people, but with his square, chiseled jaw and sharp features, it works for him. His silver eyes penetrate beneath my skin and make me feel exposed, but I kind of like it. Refusing to analyze that, I focus my attention on the goddess before me as she turns to meet my gaze.

“Xenshay, I am willing to offer you a trial period to stay in our caves. I admit, I feel some odd connection to you, but seeing as I don’t know you, I can’t be sure if you’re a threat or not. So you will learn to live among us, but hear me, if you cannot cohabitate with my people, you will leave. Is that clear?”

Dipping my head as my loose hair hangs in front of me, I simply say, “Yes, my Priestess.”

Chapter 2

Tavionna

Watching Xenshay as he bows to me and calls me his Priestess does something strange to my insides. I’m pretty certain that Seuke can feel it as well, but he’s polite enough to not say so and attempt to ignore it the best he can.

I don’t know how to explain it. When Xenshay opened his mouth, something inside me burst, and it took every ounce of effort I had not to jump him and scream that he was mine. I’ve never had feelings for anyone but Seuke, and this makes me feel incredibly guilty. I can only imagine how it makes Seuke feel.

Being my oath bound warrior and lover, Seuke and I have a bond that transcends all others. He can feel my emotions, sometimes read my thoughts, and will always be able to find me using our bond. He knows where I am at all times. Because of this extremely close bond, he knows me better than I know myself and is always able to help me with even the most confusing of things. This newfound connection I feel for Xenshay is the most confusing thing I’ve ever dealt with, and despite my efforts to ignore it, to push it aside, my heart still pounds rapidly in my chest as I ache for him in a way I have never ached for anyone. Seuke is probably able to feel such a pull just as strongly as I can, and I can only hope that he can sense my underlying fear and guilt at feeling such ways about someone other than him.

When Xenshay straightens, I whirl around, finding one of my older and sweeter followers. A sweet little wisp of a girl with tiny, sharp features and short hair. She’s outspoken and straight to the point, making her the perfect person to direct Xenshay in daily life. “Ziza, will you please find Xenshay some clothes and a room, and get him started with some basic tasks to integrate him? Help him out where he needs it.” She gives me a polite nod and bows to me, not saying a word.

I turn and let my gaze wander over the congregation of residents before speaking loud and clear in our native language. “I expect you all to show Xenshay the love and kindness you would your neighbor and friends. Let’s give him a chance to integrate. We’ve been alone a long time down here, perhaps someone new with fresh stories and ideas could be good. Can you all accept that?”

A chorus of, “Yes, Priestess,” echoes through the main chamber, causing me to smile lovingly at my people. This is one of the reasons I love them so. I never truly wanted to rule, it seemed rude to lord my powers over others just because of my lineage. I was born lucky and have additional powers the others don’t or have not been taught. That shouldn’t make me better than them, though. I treat them as kindly as I can, as I would like to be treated, and they love me in return.

It wasn’t an easy journey to get here, they didn’t always love me. I am different from my people, having only half Ngozii genes, and that led me to be picked on a lot as a child. I hated the people around me often and hated my duties to them even more. When Mother passed and I was forced to take her place, though, I showed my people just how effective and caring a ruler I could be. Because of my actions and efforts, I have gained their support and love tenfold.

Glancing over my shoulder at Xenshay, I swiftly turn and grab Seuke’s hand, tugging him with me to our room. I need a moment to get my thoughts straight and discuss things with him in private. His hand slips from mine a few steps in, and he follows me, watching my back as always. It’s nice knowing he’s always there to protect me, even if I don’t necessarily need it.

When I enter our chamber, I begin to pace along the end of the bed. We’ve managed to get materials from up top during the night to make a bed of wood, and with the silkworms down here in the caves we’ve made plenty of clothes and bedding. Of course, the heat means that our clothes are thin, often sheer, and our blankets just the same. We live our lives in minimal clothing, and it can often get crowded in these small tunnels, but it’s home. Despite the struggles, it’s also beautiful, filled with crystalline waters and glowing crystals, gorgeous flowers in every room, and even fruits to sustain us.

“My Priestess, what is it that bothers you?” Seuke speaks softly from the entryway, standing sentry just inside the blanket door. I turn to him, my face a mask of confusion and pain.

“Did you feel it?” My voice is a whisper as I search his silver eyes, unsure of what I hope his response to be. He takes a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine.

“I can sense your unease about it, and the fear of my response, but, Tavi, you should never fear what gets shared with me. I love you, I’ll always protect you. Trust me.” He steps close and pulls me into his arms, his upper hands cupping my face as his lower arms rest along my hips. “Yes, I felt the bond you have with him. I felt the uncertainty, fear, and everything else. If he is a mate for you, okay, we figure things out.”

His gaze is gentle and sincere, but my heart still aches at the thought of hurting or losing him. “How do you feel about it? Truly?”

“Priestess, my love, I am not bothered. Our bond will still be there. I’ll still be here for you in every way you want me. Nothing between us will change. You should have as many mates as you are destined to, and it’s clear that you two are destined. It’s strong.”

I sigh, leaning into him and resting my head on his strong shoulder as I hug him tight. “Does it seem odd, his timing in arriving here? We just find out who my father is, what world he’s from, and then someone from there arrives here? And he’s my mate. What if it’s a sign, Seuke? What if he’s my key to sorting all this out and getting the revenge I always wanted on my father?”

He hmms, stroking my hair gently as we stand together. “It is rather perfect, isn’t it? Perhaps we can learn from him, but may I advise that you take it slow, talk to him thoroughly and discern if he is a threat or not before jumping into any plans. We need to know if he even knows your father, of where he resides, before we make any moves. Xenshay could be from halfway across their planet, we have no way of knowing.”

“You’re right.” My upper left hand strokes his bare, pink chest around the knife strap across his body, loving the softness of his skin. His arms squeeze me a bit tighter as I try to think things through. I’ll need to really think on things, learn what I can, and then sift through that information to figure out where to go from here. I’m getting anxious and trying to jump five steps ahead.

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