Page 60 of She's a Big Deal

“You suppose.” She rubbed the throbbing ache across her forehead. “Jesus, Reece.”

“Look, they weren’t hurt is what I am saying. But that’s the way their lawyer will spin it. They’re after a bunch of dollars.” He sighed again. “Hell, they deserve it. And an apology. I was a total asshole.”

“Are you on drugs?”

“No. Not now. Not this week. I quit.”

“Really?” she challenged aggressively.

“Yeah.” He made a vague gesture as if it were the least of his worries. “Look, it all got on top of me. But I am over it now.”

Grace shoved to her feet, knowing there was more he was not saying, and irritated beyond belief. She needed to get at the deeper truth, so she opted to play the ‘cruel to be kind’ card.

“I’ll tell you what I think happened,” she stated. “You got your heart broken by your Russian girlfriend. She dumped you, and you lost your shit. Resorted to drugs and violence to make you feel better. Did you think that’s how real men deal with their issues?” She poked him hard in the chest. “Because I’ll tell you, Reece: you’ve lost your goddamn mind if that’s what you believe.”

He stared at her with his mouth open and a look of absolute disbelief plastered across his face. Then, incredulously, he broke into a smile. And started to laugh.

“Reece.” She frowned, close to fuming. “How could you be so damn stupid? You think this is funny?”

“No, no.” But he went on laughing, harder, to the point of tears streaming down his face.

“Reece,” she repeated, at a loss now. “What the hell…”

When she went to sit back next to him, he grabbed hold of her affectionately. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. His crazy, wild laughter turned to real tears.

“I can’t believe you don’t know.”

“What?” she prompted in growing concern. “Don’t tell me you’re sick, or—"

“No, no. Not sick. Grace.” He pulled back to meet her eyes. Gave her a heart-breaking smile that reminded her once more of when he was a child. “I’m gay, you know?”

???

Well.Hell!It was a shock. She hadn’t known. Never suspected a thing. He told her everything. How every so-called girlfriend from his past, including the Russian partner, was just a massive lie. A smoke cover. And of course, he’d not asked her to marry him! This was just a rumor the family made up that he had gone along with.

“It’s been hard… The last couple of years, especially, to keep it all in. And quiet like that. To carry on pretending to be someone else.”

“I bet it was.” The thought of a hot, tight, and nasty closet, with all the emotional shredding that maintaining this kind of double life entailed, made her teeth ache. “Excruciating.”

“Yeah. That’s a good word for it.”

“But… Why?” She did not hide her astonishment.

He gave her a long, sad look. “I saw what happened to you, Grace. It scared me. Turned me into a coward, you might say. I’m well aware of that.”

She did not say. Just let him carry on.

“I was afraid to take the risk. To be different. I didn’t want to have to deal with Mom, Dad, and Jeremy. You were already gone by then, traveling abroad for your dancing, when I realized I was attracted to men.”

She almost asked why he had not told her. Confided in her at the time. Asked for help and guidance.For God’s sake!But he’d just said it.You were gone.She tried not to feel it as an accusation, because she knew it wasn’t said as one. And to be fair, yeah; her own coming-out story was a shocker. She massaged her fingers over her left temple as the headache moved around that way.

“I’m sorry, Reece.” Still felt the need to say it.

He took her hand, flashed another smile, and, suddenly, he was back. The younger brother she’d always felt a strong bond with. The gentle guy she knew and loved. Maybe it was the gay thing between them.

“Don’t be sorry. I didn’t want to be that guy, so it’s all on me. I refused to look at it and to accept myself as a gay man. I pushed it way down. Just tried to be more like Jeremy.”

She looked him in the eye hard and snarled, “What the hell would you want to do that for?”

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