Page 94 of She's a Big Deal

“Uh-huh. I think you loved it. And that’s why you kissed me back so fiercely in front of your clients.” Olivia held her own under her icy stare. She knew Grace did not mean it. That it was, indeed, only for protection. She allowed her own gaze to soften. “Anyway. We could dance around the topic all day, but I would rather not. Grace, I meant what I said to you before. I am in love with you.”

She watched the declaration hit for a second time. Grace no longer appeared so stupefied, but she still looked frozen. Numb. Or…Maybe not.Because at the same time, Olivia spotted a rush of emotions racing behind her eyes. In shock, she concluded. Yes, it was more like it.

chapter 31

Grace worried that if the back of her neck tightened any harder, her spine might crack. She reached for the glass of wine she had barely touched, managed to cross to the sofa, and sat down. Her whole body had gone as tight as a bowstring. Even the muscles in her face, she could feel, were painfully rigid.

“Can’t do this,” she murmured, at first, just to herself. Then she raised her eyes to the woman who acutely tested every drop of control and detachment she had painstakingly cultivated over the years. “I told you, it’s not going to happen. I’m not trying to be cruel, Liv.” Again, she failed not to use the intimate nickname Olivia enjoyed. With her frustration mounting, and helplessness seeping in, Grace exhaled long and hard. “You know that, don’t you? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Yes, I understand.” Olivia slid gently next to her. “I don’t either, Grace. On the other hand, I will try to make this really hard for you.”

What the…?Suspicious and weary, Grace held her gaze with a hard stare. How did Olivia always manage to do this? She never failed to surprise and baffle her.Makes me feel like I’m on the edge of falling.Grace intensely disliked being so unstable. At the same time, she feared it was also a huge part of the attraction.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she demanded.

“It’s a theory: you cannot break up with me if I don’t want you to. Because it takes two to tango.”

“Are you high? Drunk? Or something?”

“No.” Olivia chuckled. “This is Charlie’s opinion.”

“Ah. Yeah, figures.” Grace took a deep calming breath. She did not often resent her aunt’s wisdom… But she did now. “This is none of her business. And she damn well should stay out of it.”

“She was just giving me advice.”

“You need advice? Huh.”

“I know you don’t mean to sound so cold and dismissive. Grace.” Olivia laid a firm hand on her shoulder to hold her back as she was about to bolt upright again. “The only reason I didn’t tell you how I felt the other day on the phone is because when my last relationship ended, I totally broke down. I begged my ex not to leave me.”

Grace could not suppress a wince of displeasure that she knew must look like a snarl. Didn’t mean it; could not help it. The curled lip earned her an understanding glance in return.

“I know, I know. It was pathetic. I literally begged her not to go.”

“You didn’t beg me.”

“Nope.”

“Not going to do it now, are you?” Though she hated to sound so aloof and cutting, Grace found it impossible to adjust her tone. Inside, she was boiling. Not with anger, but tension. Once again, her failure to get a good grip on her feelings and the situation was both startling and deeply unpleasant.

“I’m not here to humiliate myself,” Olivia said.

“Good.”

“But I went too far the other way with you.” She gave her a long and thoughtful look. “I was too passive in just accepting everything you told me, and not speaking my truth. Charlie does have a point, you know? This is not just about you and what you want to do.”

Grace sprang to her feet at the sound of three different notification bells hitting at the same time: email, Telegram, and a text message coming through. Work. Her world, entirely predictable, orderly, and safe, required her attention. She also could not bear to be so close to Olivia and observe such lingering sadness in her eyes. She knew she was responsible for putting it there.

“So, then.” She turned around, ignoring her thudding heart and the sick feeling in her stomach. “What is it that you are here to tell me?”

Olivia rose as well, abandoning all pretense.

“The truth,” she nodded. “I owe it to me and you both to be honest. At least one of us has to, huh?”

Grace narrowed her eyes but she did not reply. Olivia had every right to be angry, and she could not rise to take the bait. She could be cruel and vicious when cornered; Grace knew this about herself. Lashing out now was not an option.

“I don’t want to fight,” she said.

“Neither do I. I love you, Grace,” Olivia went on. “I want to be with you. I think you feel the same way but are too frightened to admit it. Even to yourself.”

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