Page 34 of Kairo

“Thank you.”

We sat quiet for a few more seconds before he spoke again. “Have you heard from Conqueror yet?”

I felt the tears surfacing again. “No. I want to reach out, but I know there won’t be a reply. He probably hates us now. I’m sure if he sees either one of us, he will kill us. If I know Kairo, I know he’s probably thinking I knew this the entire time.”

“You want my honest opinion?”

“I know what you’re going to say, fuck him. He the opp, blah blah. I don’t want to hear that,” I fussed.

“Nah, that’s not what I was going to say. I was going to say reach out to him. I’m sure he wants to hear from you. I’m sure he’s hurting just as bad. You might not know… You calling is probably what he’s waiting on. And if it ain’t, oh well. Clear your heart and mind, sis.”

I took in everything he said. He was right. I didn’t need to go in thinking that Kairo would forgive me, but I needed to apologize and let him know I wasn’t mad at him. I understood his motive.

Junior and I talked for a bit longer before we ended the call with I love yous.

Twenty minutes had passed, and I rehearsed everything I was going to say if Kairo answered the phone. I took a shot of tequila and dialed his number. Between each ring, I took deep breaths. I had prepared myself to leave a voicemail because I knew there was a slim chance he would answer. The phone stopped ringing, and I waited for the voicemail, but it never came. I looked at the screen and saw that it had been answered.

“He-hello? Kairo?”

“Yeah?”

“Um—it’s Junebug. J-Junie,” I said, stuttering over my words. I didn’t realize how nervous I was until I heard his voice.

“I know who it is.”

His voice lacked any expression. I couldn’t get a read on him, which wasn’t unusual, but this time I needed more from him. If I was in front of him, I could read him. I could study his body language, but here I was, left trying to figure out his temperature.

“How are you?” Internally I cursed at asking him such a dumb question. Of course he wasn’t doing good. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked that. Of course you’re not doing good. How could you be? We both went through a lot. You more than me. I am so sorry for everything. You didn’t deserve that. No one deserves that. My father ain’t shit. Your uncle aint’ shit. No one in those gangs is shit. I hate them all. I understand why you went undercover. I would’ve done the same?—”

“Junie—” he said, stopping me mid-rant.

I didn’t realize how I was rambling out of anxiety. My mouth ran a mile a minute because my heart was on the verge of leaping out of my chest. I took a couple of deep breaths.

“Sorry for rambling, Kairo. I just really want to apologize for everything. I didn’t know anything. Please know that if I had access to any of this information I wouldn’t have continued to associate with my father. My mother didn’t deserve that and neither did yours. I’m not asking you to forgive my family. What I’m asking is that you find it in your heart to accept my apology on behalf of what my father did.”

I paused, waiting for him to reply. After thirty seconds, he didn’t say whether he accepted my apology. My heart fell out of my chest and tears fell. It hurt knowing that I no longer would get to be with Kairo again. Everything about Kairo was what I needed. I was falling in love for the first time in my life, but thanks to my dad, it was ripped apart.

I sniffled before speaking. “Kairo, again, I’m sorry. If I could turn back the hands of time I would. I pray that you find peace eventually after all of this. Um… yeah. Hopefully I talk to you soon. I love you.”

I froze. I knew I was rambling, but I didn’t expect those three words to spew out of my mouth the way it did. It felt natural. It felt right. He needed to know that he was loved, regardless of everything. I hung up the phone and shut it off. So many emotions ran through me that I could barely think straight. I poured two more shots of tequila then sat on the chair. I contemplated my life, but every time I thought about it without Kairo, I cried harder until I cried myself into a deep sleep.

There was hard knocking at the door. It caused me to jump out of my sleep in a panic. No one besides Junior knew I was here. I reached for the gun that we kept in the drawer in the living room. It was dark out and all the lights were off. Slowly, I made my way to the window, peeking to make sure whoever it was at the door didn’t see me. The knocking continued. I scanned the yard and saw a motorcycle. I couldn’t make out the color or correct shape of it, which only caused my heart rate to speed up.

There was a war going on, plus my father probably thought I was going to snitch on him. It could be anybody. All I knew was I was in danger, and I wasn’t going down without a fight.

I made my way to the door, gun drawn, my finger on the trigger. I was prepared to fire and empty the clip in whoever was out there. I counted to five mentally and swung the door open. I fired a shot, not even giving the person the opportunity to shoot me first. They moved out of the way just in time before the bullet struck them in the chest.

“Junie…” I stopped my finger from pulling the trigger. It was Kairo. He wore a black hoodie and black sweats. He had the hood over his head, so I wasn’t able to see his face. My heart beat out of my chest. My hands shook and my knees knocked. It was impossible for me to form a sentence. “Junie, it’s me Kairo.”

“No shit! I almost fucking killed you.”

He stepped over the threshold and reached for the gun before placing it in his back pocket. If he was here to kill me, I had lost all will power to protect myself. He shut the door behind him and scanned the room. After he found the light switch, he turned it on. While he looked around the room, I kept my eyes on him. I was scared but happy to see him. His skin looked smooth, and his hair cut was fresh. Instead of trying to find an escape route, I thought about how it would feel for my body to be wrapped in his. He paced around the house, and I still couldn’t move from this one spot.

“Kairo, what are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?” I asked, finally turning to see him still walking around the house.

“You know what’s funny? I had been wanting to hear from you. After that night, I made a vow to myself that when I saw you or your brother, I was going to kill y’all. There was nothing you could say to me to change my mind. It was made.” I swallowed. I repented in my head and hoped to make it to heaven. I closed my eyes, preparing my body for the pain it was about to feel. He continued. “But when I saw your number pop up on my phone, the pain and anger I felt washed away.” My head darted up. He let out a chuckle. “I kept telling myself I was confused. I wasn’t thinking straight. There was no way my heart and feelings for you outweighed the betrayal and pain I had been feeling, but when I got on my bike and rode all the way out here, I knew…”

I took a deep breath. “You knew what?”

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