Page 86 of NYPD Red 7: The Murder Sorority

“It makesperfectsense. It means if you reject a woman, she’s gonna come down on your ass. Hard.”

“May I remind you that it wasn’t a woman who shot me?”

“But a woman could have hired him,” Kylie said. “Work with me here. Think about the women you dated. Who did you piss off ?”

Shane looked at me. It was a cry for help. I responded with a shrug that I hoped read asI wish I could help you, bro, but I can’t. Just humor her.

“Kylie, I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” he said, “but the other cops danced around the same subject. I couldn’t come up with a single woman scorn’d.”

“Okay, let me phrase it this way,” she said. “Am I the other woman?”

He gave her a blank stare. “What are you talking about?”

“You and I have been together for what, six weeks? Is there a woman somewhere, like maybe back in Texas, who thought you two were going to live happily ever after, found out you’re sleeping with me, and decided that the best way to end it would be to put a bullet through your heart?”

Shane’s face lit up. “Ohhhhhh, you mean Monica.”

“Who’s Monica?” Kylie said.

“Oh, man... me and Monica, we’d been together for seven years. She cried her sweet blue eyes out when I packed up and moved to New York.”

“Well, then she could be the one who hired someone to shoot you.”

Shane shook his head. “Mmmmm, I kinda doubt it. Monica’s akick-assmountain girl. She’d’ve put the bullet throughyourheart and brung over some beef jerky and a case of Rolling Rock to celebrate.”

That got a big laugh from Cheryl, Theo, and me. Kylie didn’t appreciate the humor.

“Fuck you, Shane Talbot. I’m trying to help here.”

“And I’m trying to tell you that there is no other woman! I love you, goddamn it!”

The room went silent.

Shane looked down. “Sorry,” he said. “I’m still on drugs.”

Kylie softened. “Wait, so now you’re taking that back?”

“Just the ‘goddamn it’ part,” he said. “I stand by the rest of my statement.”

Cheryl tapped a spoon on her wineglass. “Excuse me, would you two mind if a professional jumps in here?”

“Be my guest,” Kylie said. “I’ve had better luck getting confessions out of mass murderers.”

“I hate to rewrite a classic,” Cheryl said, “but one of the things I learned in shrink school is that hell hath no fury like a woman whothinksshe’s scorned. Did you ever see the movieMisery?”

Kylie and I both nodded yes.

“I watched it four or five times,” Theo said. “Kathy Bates won a Best Actress Oscar and a Golden Globe for playing Annie Wilkes.”

“Never saw it,” Shane said. “Can I sit out the rest of the game?”

“Sorry, cuz, but there’s no game without you,” Cheryl said. “Here’s the short version: Paul Sheldon is a novelist. Annie Wilkes is his biggest fan. But when he kills off her favorite character Misery Chastain in his new book, she hobbles him with a sledgehammer, and lashes him to a bed until he writes a new book bringing Misery back to life.”

“How could I miss a love story like that?” Shane said. “What’s your point?”

“Maybe you did something that felt innocuous to you, but it lit the fury in some woman, and she’s taking it to the nth degree. So let’s rephrase the question. Have you ruffled any feathers lately—I mean, besides Kylie’s?”

“Let’s see, last week I overcooked some woman’s asparagus.”

---