Page 51 of Tainted Truth

“What look?”

Tears form again and take a deep breath to keep them at bay. “Pain.”

Asher’s grip turns rough. “Is that what this was? A pity blow job?”

Matching him, I aggressively clutch his shoulders. “You know that’s not what this was. Don’t take this moment away from me because you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared,” he snaps back.

I raise a challenging brow. “Then tell me who Rachel is.”

His whole body tenses and he shuts his mouth.

“That’s what I thought. Now, hold me.” Rolling off him, I tuck my body into his side, and he wraps an arm around me while pulling up his boxers with his free hand.

Knowing he’s still feeling vulnerable, I give him a bit of truth to even the playing field. “I’ve never liked giving head before, so thank you for making it a good experience. Well . . . except with Zane . . . But . . . Never mind.”

He makes a muffled sound against the top of my head. It sounds like something between disbelief and a growl. “I don’t know if I should punch your ex or return the favor.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. Up until now their protectiveness has been inconvenient, but I’m getting used to it. “Neither is necessary, big guy.” Taking a deep breath, I offer more of myself to ease him. “I have nightmares too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but I get it. The memories take something from you every time and leave you wrung out.”

Asher turns his body towards mine and pulls me closer, so my body is flush with his, my head resting on his muscled chest. His heartbeat echoes in his chest and relaxes me. He begins playing with my hair, brushing it out with his fingers.

After a few moments, I drift off to a blissful sleep, free of Anthony and free of my horror. But one thing I can’t let go of is the truth this man is hiding.

CHAPTER 21

ASHER

Fuck me. This woman is too good to be real. At her core, she’s kind and thoughtful, and I don’t deserve her tender love and care.

I jerk my hands away from Spencer’s body, and she stirs in her sleep.

My hands—these hands—they don’t deserve her soft curves. I may not regret the lives I’ve taken, but I know my actions mean I don’t get to bask in the peace she brings me.

Silently, I slip out of my bed, immediately feeling the loss of her warmth. I take one last moment to drink her in—this brave woman who brought me out of the dark when I was drowning in my nightmare.

I slip on a pair of gray sweatpants and head downstairs. When I get to the kitchen, I find that I’m not alone. Rio is there with a cup of coffee in hand. He raises a brow in my direction, but I ignore it and pour myself a cup even though it’s two in the morning.

“You two weren’t very quiet,” he comments from behind his mug with a smile.

“Shut up, dickhead,” I snap.

“I’m just saying, for someone who claims they don’t want her?—”

“Drop it,” I growl and lean back against the countertop, taking a sip of my coffee.

Rio raises his hands in surrender, still holding his mug, and keeps smiling. “Okay, okay. Consider it dropped. But . . .” His smile drops. “Be kind.”

“Huh?”

“You gave her an ultimatum, so consider this mine. Don’t lead her on. If you insist on keeping your distance, then you need to do just that.”

I clench my jaw. “She came intomyroom tonight.”

“Did you suddenly lose the ability to say no?”

Like I could have said no when I woke up with Spencer on top of me. Then she made her way down my body and . . .

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