Page 41 of Nothing to Deny

Life may not have played out the way either of them would’ve chosen, but where they were wasn’t so bad. And if it came to it, they’d have each other’s backs. Of that she was certain.

FOURTEEN

THE NEXT MORNING her purpose was clear. Perspective was what she needed. Where better to get it than from the most honest and supportive woman she knew?

In the Rouge building, determination fueled her ascent to Roxie’s floor. In a glass walled corner office, her friend stood behind a desk. The blonde wasn’t alone, but, having come this far, that was no deterrent.

Without knocking, Freya went straight inside, focused completely on her friend. She dumped her purse on the desk. The second woman in the room didn’t even get a sideways glance.

“Hey, honey!” Roxie exclaimed. “What a nice surprise, and opportune too, you two need to meet. This glowing mother-to-be is Lilya Kintyre. She’s staying here in New York until she delivers. A little baby! We’ll have a little baby right here—not right here, ‘cause she has an apartment in town. But, bet your boots, where there’s a baby, my Jane will never be far behind!”

The words went right over her head. Unblinking, her concentration remained intent on Roxie.

Rounding the desk, she grabbed her friend’s wrist. “We have to talk. Alone. Now.”

“I’ll just… wait for you upstairs, Rox.”

Lilya Kintyre slipped out of the room just as the previously clear wall went white. Roxie took her hand to lead her over to the couches in the corner and sat them down.

“Is this an ‘I spilled wine on Zairn’s favorite couch,’ kind of conversation, or more of the ‘there’s a dead body in my apartment we have to chop into little pieces,’ variety?”

That was—“Zairn has a favorite couch?”

Random. Didn’t sound like the man she knew. A little distraction may put her thoughts in order.

“His favorite is whatever couch I’m on.” They both glanced down. No wine. Roxie snagged her hand. “That’s not the point. Murder or mayhem?”

“Somewhere in between.”

While part of her wanted to stand and pace out her hopping energy, the rest of her was just too exhausted. This was Roxie, the ride or die friend who would never let her girls down.

“Okay…” Roxie drew the word out, stroking the hand she held. “Want to give me a hint? I can guess. I’m great at guessing. We could be here a while though; I have an active imagination. Something my Casanova loves about me… He loves everything about me.”

Having seen the man admire his love more than once, she bought that. If only her own picture was so rosy.

Though her heart raced, her breathing slowed. She held an inhale for a moment, then let it out as her shoulders sagged.

“I think I’m falling for a forbidden man.”

After a brief beat, Roxie laughed. “Oh, honey, is that all? Who hasn’t?” The amusement on her friend’s face wasn’t so sympathetic. Didn’t she understand the torment? “This isn’t a bad thing. No one is as forbidden as we first think. You were right to come here, I have experience with this. A lot of experience. Tell me about him.”

“He’s… This is… It’s stupid. Utterly ridiculously stupid. I can’t… I just can’t. He’s not…”

“Why do you think he’s forbidden? He’s older? He’s younger? He can’t be your boss…” Roxie’s eyes wandered as she pondered. “Is he one of Truman’s friends? Because that’s okay—”

“This is so much worse than that. So much worse. Truman would accept that a thousand years before he would accept… Maybe I should leave the country.”

“And take your forbidden man with you?” Running away with Baer… great fantasy. One that would never work in reality. “Honey…” Drawing her cradled hand deeper, Roxie gave her a squeeze. “Whatever it is we can overcome it. If you love him—”

“Love? We haven’t—it’s never been like this, so instant, so visceral. Being with him, I lose myself, instinct wants to… take over.”

“Instinct? Or your hormones?”

Nodding, hope fought to inspire. “You think that’s what it is? I’m just caught up in the physical? If I avoid him…” No words ever tasted so wrong on her tongue. Imagine that, just for a second, never seeing Baer again… “I don’t know if I’m strong enough.”

“Does he feel the same way? Because if he does, I doubt he’ll let you go that easy.”

She’d apologized to Baer for appearing stalker-like the previous day. His joke of being so lucky echoed in her ears. Would she be so lucky, if she cut ties, that he’d come after her? She couldn’t kid herself that wouldn’t be a dream come true. For the first time, the idea of a man pursuing her relentlessly was appealing. Talking of persistent men…

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