Page 61 of Wild Bond

“You’re going to let yourself have me?” I repeated incredulously.

He nodded as a slow, very male grin spread across his lips.

“And what if I don’t want that? What if I want to keep you at a distance?”

“Do you?”

“Yes?” I replied, but somehow it came out sounding more like a question.

His brows narrowed. “Does this have anything to do with what you said on the practice fields that day I sparred with Dembe?”

“What?” I asked taken aback.

He took another step closer. “When you said you thought I would prefer Daisha’s company to yours, and what you said just now about youunderstandingwhy I would be unsure about you?”

I knew exactly what he was talking about now, but I decided to play dumb.

“What are you asking?” My voice shook slightly.Curse the Nine, the man missed nothing and had a ridiculous memory. I would have to remember that.

His gaze met mine. We were mere feet apart now. Desire practically crackled in the air between us. “Is that why you think we should keep our distance? You think you’re not good enough for me?”

I opened my mouth to give a flippant response, then hesitated. Something about the utter stillness around us, the warmth of the pool, the quiet intent in his eyes as they searched mine as if my answer was important to him, made me want to speak the truth.

I sighed. “Yes, okay. Yes.”

He watched me closely, giving nothing away. “How can you believe that?”

“Of course, I can, Rake!” I snapped, my ire rising now. I swung my arms out, forgetting to cover myself in my frustration. “How could I not when you’re . . .,” I gestured up and down his impressive frame, “. . . all that you are. You’re Kyan Rakim. Ruling member of the rider council, spymaster, a war hero . . . You are bonded to one of the most powerful dragons in Baldor and are one of the most influential men in Palasia. And that’s not even considering the age difference. And I’m just—”

“Stop,” he said, glaring down at me from his much greater height. I tried valiantly not to notice the water droplets trailing between the toned ridges of his stomach as he spoke. “Let’s get one thing straight. Yes, I am older than you, and yes, I am a member of the council and happen to be the queen’s spymaster.” He took another step closer to me, the dark water swirling around his lean hips. “But that does not make me better than you or make you somehow unworthy of me.”

“How can it not?” I lifted a hand up to stop him when his mouth opened to reply. “Please let me get this out.” His mouth closed, but I could see the frustration in his eyes. I sighed and had to resist rubbing my scar. “I know you don’t think you’re better than me. But come on, it would be naïve to think that who you are doesn’t have any bearing in our relationship, or whatever this is between us.” I raised my hands. “And youareolder than me and more experienced in almost everything.”

Something flashed in his eyes at that last bit that I refused to acknowledge as I continued my tirade, realizing I had been holding this in for some time and it was a relief to get it all out in the open.

“And yes, I am a rider now, but a few months ago I was just a thief . . . an orphaned gutter rat whose greatest accomplishment until then was stealing a sword. And I didn’t even do that right.”

Rake’s face gave away nothing at my assessment, and I had no idea what he was thinking.

I stared at him, my breathing heavy. I had barely taken a breath. “What could I possibly offer you?” I said, letting my hands splash down into the water. I had to give him credit, because his eyes remained on my face. I glanced away. “And after meeting Leah . . .” My voice had gotten quiet, as I thought back to the beautiful, older, more experienced woman. I sucked in a breath and looked back at him, “Why would you ever want to be with me?”

“Because we have more in common than you think.”

“Really?” I challenged, not trying very hard to keep the doubt from my tone and feeling suddenly vulnerable.

He stared at me for a long moment before he finally admitted, “I grew up on the streets of Taveran. My mother was Baldorian. I never knew who my father was, except that he was Zehvitian and must have been wealthy, because he paid for a house in the city for us. My mother told me he was married and that he was with his wife out of duty, not love, but that he loved us both. Then, when I was eleven, something changed, and we had to leave the city. My mother said it was too dangerous for us to live there any longer. When we returned to Baldor and sought out her parents, they wanted nothing to do with her or her part-Zehvitian bastard. My mother died shortly after.”

My heart clenched at the pain I heard in his voice, and I couldn’t help thinking of my own mother’s death.

“I survived in the city on my own for two years. I found a group of boys my age to run with. We protected each other. Then, during the Bonding Celebrations when I was thirteen, we had a chance to be presented to the unbonded dragons at the Nest, so we took it.” A small smile quirked his lips. “No one was more shocked than I when Naasir bonded with me. I was the oldest person to bond a dragon in recent memory . . . until you.”

We stared at each other. The weight of all he had said coming to rest on me, along with the realization that I had misjudged him, or at least made assumptions about him that I maybe shouldn’t have. I had thought he must have grown up wealthy and hailed from a prominent rider bloodline—even if it was a Zehvitian one. But he hadn’t. He was a bastard who lost his mother at an early age and spent several years of his life growing up on the streets. Our pasts were more similar than I could have ever thought possible.

I was startled from my thoughts when a warm finger touched my cheek. I stared up into those shocking blue eyes. When had he gotten so close?

When he spoke, his tone was calmer and more measured than before. “I am not naïve, Rin. I know there are obstacles, but I am determined not to let that affect what is between us or what I feel for you. And as for why I want to be with you . . .,” he stared down at me, those liquid eyes blazing. “It’s because you fascinate me. You have more reason than most to be jaded and angry at the world, but you’re not. Instead, you’re kind, recklessly curious, and have no sense of entitlement. I’ve watched you confront every challenge put in your path. And you risked your life to save Valla and Zade without a moment’s hesitation.”

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I could tell he meant every word, and I wanted so badly to believe him.

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