Page 56 of From Asher, With Love

I manage to grab the box off my bed and scoop the hearts back into it. Tears splash onto a few of them, spreading the ink. Asher’s handwriting that makes up each letter of his messages blends, causing some of the words to become small, black ink blots on lined paper.

I swipe my fingers across my cheeks, hoping to not ruin any more of them than I already have. I finally find the flower beneath the pieces of paper and drop it back into the box on top of the hearts, the same as it was before my dad dumped them all out.

After placing the lid back on the box, I climb under the sheets of my bed, hoping they’ll bring me the comfort I need in this moment. Warmth blankets my skin, and I pull the box closer to my chest, wrapping my arms around it.

It’s stupid really, to be clinging to a box. The edges press into my arms, the pain a reminder of what’s inside it. Asher feels trapped in that trailer with his drunk mother; I feel trapped in this house with my disillusioned parents. Secrets and whispers are woven into every surface of this house, holding their breath, waiting for the perfect moment to finally scream.

Just as I did when I was walking home from saying good night to Asher, I think of my mother and how she’s managed tostay married to my father for twenty years. Every plan has been of his design, my mother a silent partner to his demands. If my father wants me to follow in his footsteps, I know I will end up like my mother—empty and alone, a hollow version of the woman she was before she met him. I don’t want to end up like my her, and I sure as hell don’t want to end up like my father.

As the tears begin to dry, and sleep overtakes me, I realize he gave me an ultimatum: leave Asher and go to NYU, or decide to stay with him and risk losing everything I’ve worked for.

The decision isn’t a difficult one to make. Within seconds, I close my eyes, and my world fades to black.

SEVENTEEN

ASHER

I don’t regret a goddamn thing.

Lying with Charleigh pulls me back to that night. The night we gave ourselves to one another. I cling to the good parts of it, shoving aside everything that happened the moment after I trailed her collarbone for the last time. The way I thought her dad had drained every ounce of my life from me only to go home and be proven wrong.

I drag the tip of my finger across that same collarbone, noting the small flower inked into her skin. The innocence Charleigh once had is gone. Evidence neither of us are the same people we were then.

My touch stirs her awake. Her eyes remain closed, but her soft-pink lips stretch into a delicate smile.

“Mm.” She hums and squirms beneath the sheets, rubbing her feet across the bed. The moonlight pours across her frame, highlighting every inch of her naked body.

I drag my finger across her collarbone once more before pulling the sheet down the rest of her body. Her nipples harden like pebbles when I trace my finger around them. The honey is completely washed away by the shower we took together a fewhours ago. We were a sticky mess, but every bit of honey was worth it.

“Asher.” She moans my name on a near whisper, and my dick immediately hardens, but I want to watch her. Seeing her earlier, covered in honey, with my mouth on her, did incredible things to me. I’ve never seen anything so fucking beautiful.

I’m craving to see it again. See her again.

I slip my hand between her thighs. “Already so wet for me.” I push my fingers between her folds. They move easily until I find her clit. She arches her back, and tilts her head back, pressing into her pillow.

“I was dreaming of you,” she says, rolling her head to the side.

I lean forward and press my lips to hers. “Oh, yeah?” My dick twitches at the thought of her getting this turned on by dreaming about me.

“Yes.” She breathes heavily, her chest sinking on her exhale. “We were in my flower shop.”

“Is that a fantasy of yours?” I’m unable to hold back my smile. “Having sex in your flower shop?”

“I didn’t think it was until the dream,” she whispers. I can tell she’s getting close to her orgasm. Her legs constantly move as if she’s restless.

“But it is now?” I circle my fingers again, pinching her clit between my fingers.

A small yelp squeezes from her mouth. “Yes.”

“Huh.” I tilt my head and grin. “Something to keep in mind for the future.”

Charleigh’s breaths become quicker and deeper with each shift of my fingers. The word ‘future’ lingers in the heated air between us.

We don’t speak about the fact I used that word, because for us, we don’t know what that even means. The last timeCharleigh and I talked about our future together, our lives were shattered and torn apart. Lives were lost.

Love comes with a price. The same could be said for the future.

Charleigh’s body tenses beneath me, and seeing her come undone is my own undoing. Being here with her is a welcome distraction from the thoughts invading my mind. I stifle her scream with a kiss, pouring everything I have into her, feeling her body shudder beneath me.

---