Page 70 of From Asher, With Love

“My dad worked and lived on Wall Street?” I ask. My throat burns at the thought of my mother keeping this a secret from me. How could I have a father who worked on Wall Street, yet my mother and I live in a trailer that is nearly falling apart?

“Doesn’t matter, anyway,” she seethes. “You’re leaving me, and you’ll end up just like him—cold and heartless, with nothing to show for it but a fucking packed wallet. You’ll be alone, Asher.” She lifts the letter, holding it between us. “I mean, shit, you’ve already started.”

“Mom, I told you, I’m doing this for us. I can give us a better life.” The burning sensation in my throat grows, working its way into the pit of my stomach.

Tears stream down her face. Trails of black makeup are drawn along her skin. “You aren’t doing this for me. You’re doing this because of that fucking Keeler girl. I warned you about her, Asher. She’s going to ruin you. This is proof enough.” She lifts the letter again. All I want to do is rip it from her grasp, but I’m afraid of what she might do if she catches me trying to take it from her.

“Mom,” I beg. “You aren’t listening to me. If I go, I can create my own business. I can take us out of here.”

“You know what I should do with this?” She holds the paper up, shaking it in my face. “I should fucking burn it. That’s what dreams are, anyway, Asher: nothing but piles of ash.”

“You’re losing it, Mom.” I swallow, unsure of her next move. Does she really intend to burn the letter to prove a point? “You need help.”

“I want you to get out,” she says, closing her hands into fists. The paper crumples in her fingers. “Leave.”

“We can just?—”

“Get the fuck out, Asher!” she screams, squeezing her eyes shut. Three lines crease the corners of her eyes as a tear slips from under her lashes. Her small frame shakes with anger. Her eyes are narrowed, fuming with hatred for me.

I’ve always known my mother is troubled, deep down. There are issues lying under the surface of her alcoholism, driving her to keep going back to bottle after bottle.

“Fine,” I tell her. I’ve already had enough. I need to leave this trailer before my head explodes, and I hope by the time I come back, she’ll be passed out on the couch again. Maybe by tomorrow she will have forgotten finding the letter and arguing with me.

“That’s right!” she yells after me. “You keep going back to her. You’ll burn for this, Asher.”

I keep my pace steady, ready to leave my mother behind. There is only so much I can take from her. I don’t need to stay and beg her for reason. There is no reason left inside her. Hasn’t been for a long time.

I walk until I reach Charleigh’s house. I stay focused on my feet hitting the pavement. Every step is a step farther away from my mother and another closer to Charleigh. I don’t bother checking Charleigh’s house as I usually do before climbing the trellis. I don’t even warn her that I’m coming up. But she meets me as soon as I make it to the top and tap on her glass.

“Asher,” she whispers, pulling me tightly against her.

I wrap my hands around her face, pulling her to me. “I loveyou,” I muse against her mouth, immediately feeling relieved. It’s like I’ve taken a big breath, and Charleigh’s my oxygen.

“I love you, too,” she whispers back.

“We’re still going to NYU, right? Me and you?”

Her eyes dance between mine, concern etched into every line of her gorgeous face. “Of course. Me and you. Promise.”

“Okay, Little Flower.” I nod, relief settling in my bones. I pull her in for a kiss and walk us toward her bed.

Charleigh takes the hint and grips onto my coat as she walks backward. When her legs hit the edge of the bed, she unzips and slips it down my arms. My hands are quick to her face again. I pull her in, pressing my lips to hers as if it’s a matter of life and death.

She sits on the bed and crawls back on her elbows until her head meets her pillow. I crawl to her on my hands and knees, slipping one between her legs. I rest both hands beside her head and look down at her.

“I want you,” she says to me, looking me in the eye.

“Are you sure?” The moonlight streams across her face, and I want to bottle up this moment and stay here forever.

“Yes.” She grins before it fades. She lifts her hand and traces my bottom lip. “I don’t think I’ve been more certain of anything in my entire life.”

“Even more than your love for flowers?” I muse, leaning down until my mouth is hovering above hers.

She tilts her chin to meet me. “Infinitely more.”

A jolt of electricity shoots to my heart. Knowing she loves me more than her flowers speaks volumes, and I know I love her too. I grind my erection against her thigh, unable to hold myself back.

Charleigh giggles before having me move aside for us both to climb under the sheets. I’ve never been with anyone else, and neither has Charleigh. We don’t know what we’re doing, butthere’s something beautiful in knowing we’re each other’s first and equally inexperienced. I feel better knowing she won’t judge me for not knowing exactly what to do.

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