Page 86 of From Asher, With Love

My mom is dead, and I have nowhere to go. At least I didn’t until about an hour ago.

Somehow, the police got in touch with my dad. I guess they interviewed our neighbors and one of them told them they’d heard my mother talk about my dad before and handed over what information they had about him. Since I’m eighteen, they said I didn’t have to go with him. I’m a legal adult, and he has no authority over me. But honestly, I don’t know where else to go if not to him. I have nothing but a few dollars in my pocket. I don’t even have a phone.

Anyway, my dad bought me a plane ticket as soon as he heard of my situation. My flight leaves in a couple hours, and I’m heading out to California as soon as I sign some paperwork and the nurse finishes placing a splint on my nose.

But as I sit here in this sterile, white room,with the nurse about to walk back in, I can’t help but let the guilt eat at me. I know my mother had her issues, but all I can think about is the last words she said to me before I left. I’ll be living with this guilt for the rest of my life. I can’t take what I said to her back, but I believe I can fix what will be.

I know you love me, Charleigh. And I know we had our plans to go to NYU together. But I also know that for me, it was all a pipe dream, no matter how badly I wanted it. Because for people like me, dreams don’t come true. When I first met you, I knew you were too good for me. You have the life I’ve always dreamed of and every possibility in the entire world to do whatever your heart wants. You see, Charleigh? Whereas you have the world in the palm of your hand, I have nothing in mine.

I couldn’t save my mom. And I couldn’t save us. But I can save you from me.

I dragged you into this mess I call a life—my life. You don’t deserve it, and I can’t ignore the signs any longer.

As much as it pains me to say, your father is right.

I’m sorry for what happened with him tonight, but it would be foolish of me to continue believing there could ever be a future for us. So, go live your future.

Go to NYU. Get out of this town, and get out of Connecticut. Surround yourself with hearts and flowers. Whatever it is, do what makes you happy. Live your life the best way possible. A life without me—one that affords you every opportunity.

I don’t know what the future holds for me, and Ican only hope the decision to live with my dad and to leave you isn’t one I’ll regret. Even so, I’ll at least be at peace knowing I did what was best in this moment. I hope, if not now, then eventually, you will find peace, as well.

Thank you for your love, Charleigh. I’m sorry I couldn’t save your box of paper hearts in the fire, and I’m sorry I couldn’t give you all of me. The best of me.

But when someone asks me in the future if I’ve ever been in love, I will confidently say yes, that I loved someone with every fiber of my being.

I’m just sorry our love wasn’t enough to save us.

Goodbye, Charleigh.

- Asher

I usedto believe four words could change everything, but as another tear spills onto Asher’s name written on his letter, I realize the number of words doesn’t matter. Two is enough to drive the final nail into the coffin before burying it in the ground, never to see daylight again.

TWENTY-EIGHT

CHARLEIGH

My apartment is cold when I step inside, wrapping my arms around myself, attempting to create some sort of warmth. I’m still wearing Asher’s suit jacket, and I could have sworn it was keeping me warm earlier. Although that could have been the champagne from Julianna’s party. But the buzz I felt has worn off, and now I’m cold. Freezing cold.

I step into my apartment and can’t shake this eerie, violating feeling even though it wasn’t my apartment that was broken into. It was Asher’s.

But with the security Asher has, and the people surrounding him, I’m surprised a place like his could be vandalized.

An icy chill is still stinging the back of my neck when Asher moves from behind me to face me.

“Little Flower,” he whispers, hooking his fingers under my chin. I lift my gaze from his feet to find his golden-flecked eyes. They’re as bright as flickering flames.

“I’m okay.” I clear my throat and dart my gaze away from his. A knot forms in my chest, and I feel sick. I think back to the police sitting in Asher’s apartment, taking our statements. Iwanted to vomit when I heard Asher telling them he thinks Cyrus Temper was behind the break in. I wanted to vomit because I knew it was my fault. All of it. If I hadn’t considered working with Cyrus to find me a bigger shop, then drop him to work with Asher, this wouldn’t have happened.

“Why do I get the feeling you aren’t?” he asks, pulling my gaze back up.

I look away from the floor and wrap both of my hands around his cradling my face. “I am. I’m just cold.”

“Okay.” He pulls me forward and presses his lips to my forehead. I breathe him in, finding comfort in his deep, woodsy scent. His mouth is warm and surrounds me like a security blanket, and suddenly, I feel safe again.

“Why don’t I make us some tea?” he asks.

I simply close my eyes and nod in response.

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