"I haven't slept with him."

"Well, darling, don't because it sounds like you're gonna need that job."

"Romeo, can I get a word in, please?"

"Sorry. What is it?"

I take a deep breath. "He's gonna marry me. He's my future husband."

"What? Who's gonna marry you? Who's your future husband? I’m so confused here. Am I high? Did I take cocaine and not realize it? How did I not?—"

"Romeo!"

"Sorry, sorry. I’m listening."

"So, Dad hired Liam, my boss, to come over here and make my life miserable so that I would rush over to Italy for his ball."

"Oh, this sounds soThe Young and the Restless."

"What?"

"Bold and Beautiful," he continues.

"What are you talking about, Romeo?"

"Oh my gosh, you need to watch daytime TV. It sounds like a soap opera."

"Oh, okay, I guess so."

"Or maybeDesperate Housewives-ish. No, you're not married, so it's notDesperate Housewives, but that show was fabulous! We should watch it when I?—"

"Romeo!"

"Sorry. I'm listening. So, Dad wanted you to get to Italy, so he hired this guy?"

"I don't know that he hired him, but there was some sort of business deal that they were doing. And anyway, Dad has less money than he thought he had, and the business deal wasn't gonna be enough, so I guess because of me, Liam found out that Dad was gonna marry me off, and so Liam said he wanted to marry me or?—"

"Oh, darling, does he love you?"

"No, he doesn’t love me. How could he love me? He barely knows me."

"Then why would that man offer to marry you?"

"I don't know, power over me so he can fuck me?"

"Trust me, men don't marry women just to fuck them. Well, unless they're Mormons. Please don't tell any Mormon men I said that."

"I don't know any Mormon men, and why would they care if you said that?"

"I don't know. I've heard that there's a lot of Mormon men in the closet."

"Romeo!"

"I know, darling, I'm sorry. It's just been such a late night, and I have been drinking. And well, your news has taken me aback."

"Yeah. I mean, you don't think it's taken me aback?

“So, where are you? Do you want me to fly over to New York and?—"