Page 30 of Grumpy Boss of the Year

“I also said—rather he said that I need to be a hundred percent accurate.”

“Oh my gosh. You said that you could type two hundred words per minute with a hundred percent accuracy?”

“I mean, that’s not unheard of is it?”

“I've never heard of it. What are you going to do?”

“I mean, nothing right now. He said he’s getting a laptop so he can give me the test.”

“Oh my gosh. You know you’re going to fail.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, I know so.”

“Shit, no wonder he was being so cocky.”

“What do you mean?”

“He said to me when I failed, he wasn’t going to allow me to give him a blow job to keep my job.”

“Girl, you’re going to have to get down on your knees and do way more than just a simple blow job.”

“Very funny.”

“I mean, he has to know there's no way you can type that fast. it’s just not reasonable to think anyone could do that, certainly not you, who he knows is not a real assistant.”

“True, so why on earth is he giving me this test?”

“I don't know, maybe to assert his dominance over you?”

“You know he’s never going to be able to assert his dominance over me. Does he know who I am?

“I mean, my guess is not really. He probably just thinks that you’re my former roommate who has a rich dad, but does that mean he knows that you’re super rich and that your dad may or may not be part of the mafia?”

“Or that my dad wants to marry me off this summer?” I sigh. “Ugh, what am I going to do, Skye?”

“What do you mean, what are you going to do? I thought you were excited for the party.”

“I was excited when I wasn't actually thinking about what it really entailed. I don't want to marry some random man and leave New York and possibly be a mafia wife. I'm not built for that life. I mean, even if my dad is a mafia boss, he didn’t train me in the mafia ways. I don’t know anything. I don't want to wake up and find a dead horse’s head on my bed or any shit like that.”

“I shouldn't laugh, but that’s kind of funny.” Skye giggles loudly.

“That’s not funny. It's gross.”

“I know, it's totally gross. Shall we watchThe Sopranosto get you in the right headspace?”

“What?” I say.

“Remember, you said you wanted to watchThe Sopranosso that you would be prepared if we did find out your dad really is a mafia boss.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess it sounded like a good idea at the time. Are you sure you still want to watch it with me?”

“Yeah, we can have aSopranosparty and invite all the girls.”

“That sounds fun.”

“Oh, guess who’s going to be in a fashion show?”

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