"I'm coming over, and I'm just telling Kingston that I'm spending the night."
"You don’t have to do that," I say, but secretly, I'm excited. I've missed my best friend.
"I'll be there in twenty minutes."
"Skye!"
"Skye nothing," she says. "See you soon."
"Okay. You want me to order a pizza or something?"
"Hellooo! Pepperoni and ham!"
"You got it," I say, hanging up. A smile crosses my face. Why am I so pathetic?
I jump up and go and look in the mirror. "What is wrong with you?" I point at my reflection. "You should be so much stronger than this, Elisabetta Franco. You may be the daughter of a Mafia boss…" I groan.
Suddenly, every little thing in my life that I didn't quite understand or appreciate feels like a weight on my shoulders that's threatening to crush me to the ground. I stare at my reflection again. My eyes seem sad. I don’t want to look washed out. I have my whole life ahead of me. I just don’t know where it's going.
I think about Liam and earlier in the day, and a hot flash passes through me. I was kinda crazy. "You're a crazy bitch!" I say at my reflection, and I shake my head. "I don't know how you had the nerve to do that, but if I could high-five you, I would," I say to myself and laugh.
I’m talking to myself. It's official. I'm going crazy.
I walk back to the living room and grab my laptop so that I can order some pizza. I feel happy and excited that Skye is coming over. Maybe it will be like the old days when we didn't have any worries other than when our next date was gonna be and if we were gonna have hot sex. "Well, I'm not even gonna bring that up," I mutter to myself. I do not want to hear about her and Kingston and the billion ways that he loves to please her and tease her and take care of her.
I’m happy for her because I love her, but I felt kinda sad for myself, and I hate that. I hate that I can't just appreciate whatshe has without wishing I also had it. It makes me feel like I’m not a good friend. Like I’m jealous even though I’m not, not deep down inside.
The doorbell rings, and I go to answer it. "You have a key, bitch." I look at Skye, and she just shakes her head.
"But I didn't want you to think I'm…"
"Nothing you could say right now would mean a thing to me." I stare at her. "You use your key and come inside whenever you come over."
"I know," she says, giving me a big hug. "Let me look at you." Her eyes narrow, and she looks me up and down. "What the hell is going on? You have me so worried."
"My life is crashing down around me, and I really don't know what to do about it," I say.
"Start at the beginning." She holds me close. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
"I'm not pregnant, if that's what you're wondering."
"I know that, goofy." She laughs. "No more bad anal sex stories, right?"
"No, and I don't want to think about it again." I glare at her, then grab her hand and head towards the couch to sit down. "My dad called me today," I start. "And he said that my party that was meant to be full of bachelors that I may or may not want to go on dates with is now an engagement party."
"An engagement party? What?" She looks surprised. "But who are you engaged to? Like, what's going on?"
"I don't know. My dad said that he's having money issues." I lower my voice and look down. "And I don't really know what that means."
"Look at me," she says, shaking her head. "You don't know what that means 'cause you don't even really know what he does for a living."
"I know, and I hate that. Do you know how weird that is, to have a dad that supposedly loves you but has never really been in your life? I don't even know how he makes his money." I bite down on my lower lip. "And he never shows me pictures of Mom or…"
"I know. I can only imagine how hard it's been. I'm so sorry. You know that, Elisabetta."
"I know. And it didn't bother me, but I guess as I get older, I feel nostalgic." The familiar panging in my heart makes my heart pound. “I just want to know everything I can. Want to understand how and why I’m in this world.”
"You're not that old."