Page 4 of A Bright Winter Season

There was a beverage station inside the dining area, and she went there to pour herself a hot cup of coffee. She added creamer and a splash of peppermint flavoring, something that they always had on hand at Christmastime as a way of making their beverages more festive.

She had to admit to herself, as she walked back to the booth where she’d been working, that she had been working harder than usual lately. Between working at the pub and making and selling her jewelry, she felt as if she’d been going constantlythe past few weeks. Although it was all good work that brought her joy, it was beginning to wear on her body more than she’d thought it would. She thought with a chuckle that work was still work even if you enjoyed it. She couldn’t possibly have fit any more on her plate, but she had no reason to complain. She was busy, but it was from doing things that brought her joy.

She sat back down in front of the sign, thinking about some of the invitations she’d turned down in the past week. She’d been invited to go ice skating and get coffee with some of her Rosewood Beach friends, and she was part of a book club that she’d missed the last two meetings of. She took a sip of her coffee, thinking to herself that it couldn’t be helped. She was already getting tired, and she didn’t want to spread herself too thin. Her budding business, the pub, her family, and Grayson were her top priorities, and everything else would have to wait, at least for a while.

In the next moment, Hazel stepped inside the pub, and Alexis grinned when she saw her sister.

“Hey, you!” Alexis stood up hurriedly and ran over to hug Hazel. “Always nice when you drop in. You here for lunch?”

Hazel nodded, grinning back at her sister. “I’ve got a late lunch break today, and I’m starving. We had a whole bunch of appointments around noon, so I’m taking my lunch break later than usual.”

Alexis nodded. Hazel worked as a receptionist at the local doctor’s office, and her lunch breaks were often at unusual times, depending on when patients were scheduled to come in. “Did you order already?”

“No, I should have called ahead, but it’s been a bit of a hectic day. I just ran over here as soon as I was off the clock. I’m hoping Allison can whip me up a tuna melt, something really quick.”

“I’m sure she can. Or, worst case scenario, she gives you peanut butter and jelly.”

Hazel laughed. “Hey, that sounds incredible right now. I always loved peanut butter and jelly.”

Hazel popped into the kitchen and was gone for a few minutes. When she came back out, she was holding a plate laden with a hot tuna melt sandwich and a side of crispy French fries.

“Mind if I sit with you while I eat?” Hazel asked, sliding into the seat across from Alexis. “I’m not going to make you hungry, am I?”

Alexis shook her head, smiling. “No, ma’am, I already ate. I might steal a few fries though.”

“Be my guest.” Hazel gestured to them. “Allison gave me some garlic aioli to go with them and it’s divine.”

“Ooh, I will, thanks.” Alexis dipped a fry into the aioli and then popped it into her mouth. She nodded emphatically as soon as she tasted the creamy, golden flavor. “Oh, that’s amazing. The perfect mixture of creamy and salty.”

Hazel nodded and heaved a sigh of satisfaction as she took a big bite out of her sandwich. “I’m so hungry,” she said with her mouth full. “This food tastes like heaven right now.”

Alexis smiled, thinking about all of the amazing meals she’d had with Hazel and Samantha when she’d first moved back to Rosewood Beach. She’d lived with them in their house for a while, and it had been a joyful experience for all three of them. Although she loved her new house and living with Grayson, sometimes she missed the gleeful atmosphere that pervaded Hazel and Samantha’s home.

“We’ll have to make a meal together again sometime soon,” Alexis said. “I miss eating with you.”

“Sounds fantastic. Samantha would love that. And I would too, obviously. I miss eating with you too! You and Grayson can come to our place, or we could go over there. Whatever’s easier.”

“I think we should do whatever’s easier for you! You’re the one juggling both work and caring for your daughter.”

Hazel shook her head. “She’s at the point where she helps me more than she causes work for me, you know? Well, at least for the most part.” She laughed. “And besides, I know how busy you’ve been with your new business!”

Alexis nodded. “I’m sorry I turned down your ice-skating invitation. I would have loved to go with you both, but I needed to catch up on orders. I didn’t expect to be doing this well this quickly.”

“No worries at all. I completely understand.” Hazel smiled affectionately at her sister and took another big bite out of her sandwich.

“How was it?” Alexis asked. “Saturday was such beautiful weather—sunny and not too cold. Well, at least before it started to snow.”

“Yeah, it really was perfect weather. It didn’t start to snow until we got back inside our cozy little house. We had a lot of fun. Samantha’s getting so good on her ice skates, she was literally skating in circles around me.” Hazel laughed, and there was a warm glow of love in her eyes as she talked about her daughter. “And then we got lunch here and wandered around shopping for a while. We found so many cute things. Samantha has such a great taste in Christmas stuff—she picks out things that I would think are too cutesy, but then we put them in our house and they totally work. I love it.”

Alexis smiled as she listened to her sister, marveling at how much joy Hazel took in her daughter. Hazel certainly hadn’t had an easy time of it, raising a daughter all by herself, but it seemed that having Samantha in her life had made up for all of it.

Alexis had always felt daunted by the idea of having a child of her own. It seemed like an enormous amount of work and pressure, but listening to the way Hazel talked about Samantha, she realized that what most people said about children must be true—that they were an extreme blessing. There seemed to besomething almost magical about the way Samantha made Hazel feel, and Alexis found herself wanting to feel that way about someone.

As soon as she imagined herself having a child, however, she hastily retreated from the idea. Her life was already so full and so busy, she couldn’t imagine being able to fit a child into it. She knew that children required a great deal of time and care, especially at the beginning of their lives, and she knew that at the moment, she didn’t have anywhere near enough time to be a parent.

Someday I’ll be ready for a child,she thought.And when I am, I’ll find a way to make the time and enjoy the process. That’s how it works, right?

She and Hazel continued to chat while Hazel ate her meal and Alexis carried on her work on the sign. Although she was enjoying their conversation, Alexis kept being distracted by thoughts about having a child. She had a squirming, restless feeling in her heart. She wanted a baby, but she felt completely overwhelmed by the prospect. She kept telling herself that it wasn’t the right time, and she wouldn’t be able to make time for a baby at that stage in her life. She simply had too many other things going on.

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