Page 1 of Redemption

CHAPTER ONE

CALEB

Valentine's Dayis usually the day for lovers, and while I've had one on this day for a long time, this year is a little bit different. Ruby and I aren't seeing eye-to-eye, and we haven't been for months. So much so that not long ago, I took my wedding ring off.

It still feels unreal to be walking around without it. When we got married, I never thought I'd take it off, but here we are. One moment in time has been enough to turn our entire lives sideways and upside down. I know a huge part of that is because of me and what I did, but the other part of it is Ruby. She refuses to trust me now, and I truthfully don't know how to win that back.

I'm in Eden's shop, standing in line along with everyone else, and when it's my turn, I go up to the counter. "Hey." I smile at her.

"Hey Caleb. What can I get for you today? You know you get free drinks and food here."

I do know that. "This isn't for me. It's for Ruby. Do you think you could help me out?"

Her eyes soften, and a smile spreads across her face. "Ahh Caleb. What can I get for you?"

"I don't know what she's drinking lately. I think you know that. Can I get that for her? When she comes in, can you let her know I paid for it already, give her one of those chocolate cupcakes, and give her this?" I slide a card across the counter.

"I would love to do that for you. Let me take care of her breakfast. No need for you to buy it."

Immediately I argue. "No, I do need to buy it. Please." I soften my tone. "Let me do this for her. It's important that I do this for her."

We stare at each other for a beat, and I think she gets that this is something I have to do, not only for myself, but for Ruby as well. "Okay, it'll be ten dollars and eighty-five cents."

I give her my debit card and wait nervously as she runs it. I don't know why I'm nervous; I know there's money in there. It's just the fact that I'm reaching out to my wife. I haven't done this in months, not since our big knock-down drag out. At the same time I stopped wearing my wedding ring, I moved out of our house, and goddamn, I miss it. Miss the evenings with her and the kids. But most of all, I miss knowing I'm not alone. That there's someone there who will be my partner.

Eden finishes the transaction. "When she comes in, I'll give it to her. Judging by the time she's been coming in, you've got about five minutes to make yourself scarce if you don't want her to see you."

"Thanks, I appreciate this."

"No problem. I really hope you two can work out what's going on between you."

I do too, but I don't tell her that. All I do is nod and turn to leave. Once outside, I jog to my patrol SUV and get in. Starting it, I go around the block and then back into a space close to The Café. I feel like a stalker as I sit there and wait for my wife to show up to get the present I got for her. It would probably be easier for me to just go home, but I can't face what I've done. Thelook on her face when I came home after she'd seen the video on social media isn't something I'm going to forget for a long time. I see it every fuckin' time I close my eyes, and then when I'm able to go to sleep I wake up to dreams about what could've happened with the suspect who went for my gun. I jolt up in a cold sweat as I dream about Ruby and my kids being at my funeral.

Fuck, when is this going to stop?

Then I see her. She's by herself, so she must have already dropped the kids off at school. Fuck I miss her, miss our lives together, and everything we'd built, but it's hard. Hard to realize that I've done this to myself. I let an event that happened in the line of duty affect me in this way.

She looks gorgeous. Long, blonde hair, hanging down her back curled, just the way I like it. Tight jeans cup her thighs and ass. I know she's been working out since I left, and I can definitely tell. I have been too, because I have nothing else to do with my time. The long-sleeve shirt she wears is like a second-skin and you'd never know by looking at her she's had two kids.

It's as if she can feel me watching her. As she steps up onto the curb, she glances in my direction, but I know she can't see in the SUV. Not from where she stands. She tucks her purse into her side, and heads into A Whole Latte Love.

The radio is chirping in the background, but I've let them know I'm taking a break. My phone vibrates in my hand, and I see that there's been an update made to the Facebook page for Whitney's Wedding Planning. I remember being excited when Ruby decided to take a job there, because it got her out of the dangerous aspects of being in a school, and today I'm even more thankful. It's how I've kept track of her from afar for the past few months. She, Whitney, and Violet are constantly updating their social media accounts. Today it's a picture of Ruby holding a bouquet, obviously taken previously, and they're talking abouthow it's Valentine's Day and how that's a perfect day for a wedding.

Out of nowhere, there's a sharp knock on the window next to my head. I jerk up and see Ruby standing there. Her blue eyes blazing, and a frown on her face. "Why did you do this?" She asks. Holding up her coffee and the unopened envelope. "You bought me a fucking cupcake, Caleb?"

I slowly roll the window down, facing what I've been running from for the past few months. "I did." I answer, rolling my lips together and swallowing roughly.

"What is it supposed to mean? So you're gonna buy me a cupcake after I made you a dozen, and it's supposed to fix everything?" Her eyes are full of hurt and I wish like fuck there was something I could do to take them away.

"I did it because that's how we tend to apologize to each other. It's been that way since the moment you made me that dozen cupcakes." I explain, knowing that this sounds thin even to my ears.

"And you think that because you bought me a cupcake on Valentine's Day it's going to change the way things have been for the past six months, Caleb?"

I know she's right, I do, but I just feel like everything is spiraling out of control. "No, it's not going to fix everything, but I hoped it would be a start." I answer softly. "I don't know how to say I'm sorry, don't know how to explain to you what I've been going through, and I know you want answers."

"Damn right I do. I'm sick of lying to our kids. I'm sick of going to bed every night wondering where you are, and who you're with..." her voice trembles.

"I'm not cheating on you." I interrupt. "I would never cheat on you. No matter what's going on between us, that's not going to happen."

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