Page 71 of Come Back to Me

I read them every day. Still not deleting, but still not responding.

Until yesterday. Yesterday he texted me a sweet message, and I decided it wastime we talked.

Jack: I love you and I miss you so much. Today, I had Tommy for a while, and he asked when we were going to have another sleepover. It brought back memories of how great you were with him and how much I realized I loved you that day. I hope you’re okay.

I sat with that for a solid ten minutes before responding.

Me: Jack, we probably need to talk in person…

The bell on the door rings and I look up to see Jack walking toward the booth. God, he’s so handsome it almost hurts to look at him… especially now that he’s not mine.

He sits down opposite me and thanks me for ordering him a coffee.

I just nod, not able to choke out a response. I wait a few seconds and gather my courage.

“Jack, we need to talk about?—”

“Wait, Annie, please. Let me go first,” he interrupts, looking at me for my agreement.

I nod at him.

“I’m so sorry for… for how I shut you out when Teddy died. For snapping at you… for everything. I need you to know that nothing happened with Chelsea.”

When he says her name, I can’t help but break eye contact, looking down at the table.

“I was in a really dark place, blaming myself for Teddy. I was trying to drown that in alcohol. That night—the night at the bar—I was drinking so much I put myself in a position that could make you think I was unfaithful?—”

“Jack, I—” I try to interject.

“Please, I’m almost done. I’m so bad at speaking about myfeelings, so please let me get this out while I can.” He pauses, and when I say nothing else, he continues.

“When you left with Joel, I went nuts, and then when you went away and I couldn’t find you or talk to you to explain, I hit rock bottom. I haven’t had a drink since you left. Drinking isn’t a problem for me most of the time, but I should never have put myself in an altered state of mind when I was hurting so much. I’m seeing a counselor… and journaling.”

He reaches for my hand, but I move them down to my lap, not missing the hurt in his eyes.

“I love you, Annie. Tell me what I need to do to fix this. Please. What do I need to do to convince you nothing happened with her?”

“I know nothing happened with her, Jack. Shayna and Emily have told me everything about what they found out. About Joel setting it up so I would walk in and see. About Chelsea admitting nothing happened.”

“Does… does that mean we can work through this?” he asks, his eyes filled with hope.

I don’t say anything for several seconds. I can’t. God, I want to say yes, that we can work on it. That’s what my heart wants, but my brain says otherwise.

“Annie, baby?” he asks, his voice shaking.

“No, Jack. It doesn’t,” I whisper. I’m not able to look him in the eyes, fearing I won’t be able to stick to my plan if I do.

“Please, Annie. Don’t do this. I love you. I need you. What we have, this is a once in a lifetime type of love. Please fight for it. Come back to me.”

“I can’t,” I answer, forcing myself to meet his eyes. “You may not have left me physically, but you left me emotionally. You refused to let me in. You promised me you wouldn’t hurt me, but you did. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, but you made purposeful choices that led up to it. Just because you feel youdidn’t do it intentionally doesn’t make it any less devastating for me. You made me love you, made me give you my heart, and then you… you broke it… You broke me,” I say, wiping a tear away as it rolls down my cheek.

Neither of us say anything for a few moments.

He won’t look away from me, either.

“Sugar,” he whispers, “do you still love me?”

“Jack…”

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