Page 65 of Come Back to Me

No.I put down the bottle. I don’t want to forget. The love is greater than the pain. I can’t forget the pain without forgetting her, and I don’t want to numb these images of her, these memories, even for a few hours.

I walk to the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee. On the way back to the couch, I grab the envelope. I stare at it for several long seconds, my hands shaking.

I’m afraid to know what it says. Afraid that the loss will feel even more intense from Teddy’s words on the page that he wrote that night.

I finally open it, knowing with certainty that the only way through the pain is facing it head on. Preparing myself, I read the last words from my best friend.

Dear Jack,

I don’t know how to start this letter, but I also don’t want to leave here without you knowing how sorry I am because I know this will hurt you. I’m just so tired and things have gotten so hard. I feel so low and can’t pull out of it.

You likely know by now that I messed things up pretty badly again. There’s no excuse for what I’ve done to Em, but I want to at least try to explain what’s been going on in my head lately. I stopped my medicines and stopped seeing my therapist about a month after Em and I got married. I thought I was okay, but I wasn’t, and by the time I realized Iwas heading down a destructive path, I couldn’t stop the cycle.

I know you’re going to think I should have come to you, Jack, but I didn’t want to. Not because you haven’t always been there for me, you have. Hell, we first met when you bailed me out from getting my scrawny ass kicked mouthing off to those freshmen when we were in eighth grade. You didn’t even know me, and you intervened back then. You’ve been rescuing me from myself ever since.

I didn’t want to come to you because I wanted to be able to take care of myself and be the man I felt Emily deserved before we started trying to have a family. So, yeah, when I realized I was in trouble, I didn’t let you see it. In fact, I worked pretty hard to hide it from you. And I regret that now, but I can’t change what I’ve done.

I’ve lost her for good this time, Jack. I’ve lost Emily.

Jacky, you’re literally the only person in my life who knows about the hospitalization after Emily ended things when I cheated on her while she was in college. If you hadn’t found me then, I would never have had these years. You’ve given up so much trying to make sure Iwas okay, and I appreciate it, but it was never meant to be your long-term job.

When you and Annie got together and I saw how happy it made you, I realized that’s what you’ve always deserved. I need you to hold on to that happiness, brother. Don’t let this wreck you, please. She’s so good for you and anyone who knows her can see how much happier she is now than when she arrived in Elladine earlier this year. So, don’t let that go. For both your sakes.

I know how you operate, and I know you’re going to think you’re to blame for this somehow. I need you to know that you aren’t. I tried to call you last night… I know you’ll beat yourself up about that. When you tried to call me back, I chickened out and didn’t answer. You need to know you were never going to be able to stop this from happening. I only called because I wanted to tell you I love you and to thank you for being my brother. No brother by blood could have ever been a better one than you’ve been.

Please forgive me for the hurt this causes you and please watch out for Emily.

Thanks for being the best brother and best friend I could have ever hoped for.

I love you, brother. See you on the other side.

Love,

Teddy

CHAPTER 29

ANNIE

I sit alone at the dinner table on the first night of my cruise. So far, I’m the only one here.

When Janie and I booked the cruise, she insisted I choose the option to be seated family style for dinner so that I could meet new people. I think she was afraid I’d sit in my room all day otherwise. It’s possible she was right.

I’m nervous, but then I notice an older couple walk up to the table, smiling.

“My, aren’t you stunning? Look at those eyes!” the woman exclaims. She gracefully seats herself right next to me even though I’m the only one seated in any of the six chairs so far.

“I’m Millie, and this is my beau, Larry. We’re from Florida. How about you, dear?

“Hi, I’m Annie,” I say quietly. “I’m from Ohio.”

A few minutes after, I look up to see two very handsome men headed in our direction. I gulp—no way are they coming to this table.

When they are within feet of us, I realize I’m wrong…

“Hi, I’m Dominic, this is my brother, Tony,” the stockier one introduces them.

“What brings you two handsome boys on a cruise?” Millie asks.

---