Page 73 of Come Back to Me

ANNIE

Waiting for Janie and my food pickup order to be ready, I’m seated on a bench by the cashier at our favorite Mexican restaurant across from the hospital. It’s an unusually calm day in the ER, so Janie and I are going to share a taco platter for lunch. According to Janie, calories don’t count on a Friday.

I stare down at my phone, willing it to alert me to a text message from Jack.Make up your mind, Annie? Do you want him to reach out or not?Shut up, inner voice. Whose side are you on?

It’s been two weeks since I met with him at the diner. Two weeks since I last saw his face, heard his voice, or even received a text message from him.

God, I miss those damned text messages. Why did I ask him to stop sending them again? Oh, right, because I thought I needed him to do that to let me heal. Instead, my heart hurts more.

Fifteen minutes later, my bestie and I are sitting in my office munching away on our tacos. Janie is uncharacteristicallyquiet and keeps sneaking peeks at me when she thinks I’m not looking.

“What? Come out with it already,” I say, setting my taco down.

“I didn’t say anything,” she responds, defensively.

“You didn’t have to. Your lack of saying anything is your tell, Janie. Plus, you keep giving me weird looks.”

She hesitates, then says, “Promise you won’t get mad at me first.”

“Seriously, when have I ever gotten mad at you for speaking your mind? Which you almost always do, by the way.”

“Okay, I just… Are you sure about things, Annie?”

“What things are?—”

“Are you sure about you and Jack?” she blurts out. “Because—and I say this with love—you look miserable. I know it’s because you miss him. Are you sure you don’t want to work through this?” she asks, with a sad look on her face.

I’m not sure how to answer her because I know I’m miserable, but I’m also really damned scared.

“I’m not actually sure that I don’t want to try, but I’m even less sure that Icantry.” I smile sadly. “I’m afraid we’d never get back to… us. I’m not sure I can try and risk failing.”

“Sweetie, if there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you don’t fail at anything. And what if… What if you try and you two don’t end up the same, but you end up better? I think you need to really ask yourself which is stronger, the fear you have, or the love.”

Who knew my best friend was such a fount of wisdom?

We finish lunch, and I spend the rest of the afternoon trying to focus on my work, but I’m distracted by my conversation with Janie.

What if she’s right? What if I’m letting my fear of being hurt again prevent me from experiencing love?

I decide I can’t be effective with this lack of focus and cut out to head home. I get in the house around forty-thirty p.m. and Beanie’s tail is wagging a mile a minute, excited that I’m home a little early. I quickly change into workout clothes and throw on my running shoes before Bean and I head outside to pound some of this stress out on the pavement.

We’re almost back to the house when I notice a significant plume of smoke in the sky that appears to be coming from the downtown area. I send up a silent prayer for whoever is involved.

JACK

Pulling out the pancake mix, butter, and milk at the station, I start to prep tonight’s dinner for the crew. They’ve asked for pancakes, and I can at least do that.

My mind wanders to Annie while I’m measuring the dry ingredients. Just before I pour the milk, our alarm indicating a firecall blares.

I grab the milk and butter and put them back in the fridge then head to the garage. The rest of the crew is already there, putting on their turnout gear. I tell the dispatcher my name and badge number on the radio and I step into my turnout bottoms and boots as I listen to the details of the fire scene.

We’re being dispatched to respond to a three-alarm fire at a small apartment complex downtown. It’s technically in Station One’s territory, but both of their trucks are already out on a house fire, so we and Station Two are being called in to manage it. Fitz jumps in the driver’s seat of the engine, and I take the passenger seat.

I know we’re closer than Station Two, so I’ll most likely be the highest-ranking officer and will be in charge of thescene until they arrive. I turn around to give direction to Finn, Reynolds, Jones, and Garcia in the seats behind us.

“When we get there, Reynolds, you get the hose out and ready. Jones, I want you on the ladder. Garcia, see if you can find out from any bystanders how many people are unaccounted for until another engine company arrives. Then you and I will join in search and rescue. Finn, you and Fitz will go in on search and rescue as well. Finn, you stay glued to Fitz. If he takes a step, you take a step. If he stops, you stop. You do not get separated from him under any circumstances. Everyone got it?”

“Got it, Captain,” they answer in unison.

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