“Oh, umm, yeah. I was there, and then I moved on to become a SEAL agent.”
Surprise hits me again, and I can’t keep my mouth from falling open slightly. “Oh wow. I had no idea. Isn’t that like one of the most rigorous training procedures of all the US defense programs?”
He nods, but there’s no pride or nostalgia behind his eyes, only a coldness that makes the corners of his mouth tug down.
“Yeah. It’s…intense. From start to finish, actually.”
He’s on edge. I can tell by just looking at him, and I regret asking about the time he served. It’s evident in his tone, his posture, that he doesn’t look back on it with fond memories.
Sipping the final few centimeters of my drink, I set the stout rocks glass down on his desk. The whiskey burns down my throat as I swallow, and I can feel the light warmth flow into my limbs, working its strange magic.
“Sorry that I brought it up. I’ll admit that I’m a little rusty making conversation with an adult.” I giggle at myself. “You know, unless I’m talking about their kids…or kids in general.”
Xaden smiles, patting me on the shoulder. “You’re about as good at it as I am. Can’t say I’ve been much of a social butterfly these past few years either.”
Lingering there for just a second longer than expected, I miss the warmth of Xaden’s fingers as he pulls them away.
And that is so very not good. Ivy, come on. He’s the boss. You need to get out of here.
I hear the logic in my thoughts. I understand that these things I’m telling myself are pretty damn true, and yes, Idoneed to leave.
Still, I can’t find it in me to move. Our gazes hover in a place of connection, and even as we both blink and look away briefly, our eyes keep coming back to each other.
My stomach is flip-flopping with the best of them, and heat claws beneath my skin. If I have little practice making small talk, I have even less with flirting.
I’ve been in a handful of five-date-long “relationships,” and none of those stretched much farther than college. Since I started working ten-hour days at the center, there’s just been no time.
And now? Oh, well, now I’m on the run from my dangerous, unhinged father, who keeps threatening me with texts and phone calls.
It’sdefinitelythe best time to be seeing someone.
So why haven’t I moved? Why am I still standing here and wishing that Xaden would cross the few steps between us and ki?—
“Umm, I should probably get going. I need to fix my own food and get some rest before tomorrow.”
Xaden sucks in a breath, like he’s been rocked out of his own thoughts, and then nods gently. The movement barely registers against the way he tries to mask his disappointment.
Disappointment that has to just be about having company—not about me.
“Oh, right, of course. Well, thanks again, Ivy. I do thank you for everything.” He smiles, putting his hand on the back of his head before ruffling his hair. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I nod. “Yup. I’ll see you then. Goodnight, Xaden.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, those blue,blueeyes. “Goodnight, Ivy.”
The sheets are scratchy,and my leg muscles are stiff. There’s a cricket somewhere that must’ve gotten inside right when I came home, and whenever I close my eyes, all they do is fly back open again.
Because I absolutelycannotbe thinking of my boss right now.
“What in the hell is wrong with me? I’ve never…okay, I haven’t even dated in forever, but come on. It can’t just be blue balls.”
Saying no to a fun night out, volunteering for an extra shift, and spending evenings reading at home,that’swho I am.
Who is this person who can’t seem to keep her mind from wandering back to Xaden? Wondering what he might look like beneath those button-down shirts and ties…
Shifting onto my other side, I stare out across the room, where the window is cracked to let in a light breeze.
It’s so dark outside, and it’s few and far between that a car drives past on the road ahead.