Page 62 of Nanny for the SEAL

She doesn’t deserve to be with someone this damaged.A killer.

My pulse kicks again, and I force myself to take a deep breath, repeating that mantra of mine in my head.

You’re here. Not there. It wasn’t your fault.

But the words aren’t sinking in past skin deep. I don’t believe them right now. And even though I’ve convinced myself of them before, today is different.

I’m not sure I will ever be free of this guilt, and I’m starting to think that it’ll pull me down into the darkness in the end.

“You’re okay, Xade. That’s the past,” Ivy whispers to me. “Let it stay behind you.”

It’s work to swallow down the knot in my throat, but I do. I swallow, and I breathe. I’m not in the past. I’m here with Ivy and Daisy.

And I’m going to do whatever I can to keep that at the front of my mind—no matter what it wants to tell me.

TWENTY

Ivy

Warm water falls over my head and shoulders as the shower rains down its gloriousness. It is always such an amazing way to start the day—good water pressure, a bigger water tank, and fluffy towels with a higher thread count.

Yup, Xaden’s house is the best.

“How’s it going in there?”

I jump slightly as his voice comes from just outside the shower, and he giggles at me.

“Jesus, are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

With a hum, I can make out his head shake through the textured glass. “Never. I was actually thinking you needed some company.”

My pulse quickens for an entirely different reason, and I roll my lips between my teeth as I grin.

“What’s the password?” I tease.

Xaden chuckles hard, and I step backward as he reaches for the handle on the other side of the door.

“Hmm, is it ‘this is my shower you’re using?’”

I bark out a laugh, not letting him pull the door open as I reach for the top of it.

“Nope.”

His laugh darkens, and I know I’m not going to be able to keep this door shut much longer. Not that I want to.

“How about…‘three?’”

I falter, looking down at the floor as I try to guess what he might mean. I come up with nothing.

“Three?”

Distracted as I am, Xaden is able to pull open the door, and I slip slightly, tumbling into his arms as he opens things up.

“The number of times I’m going to make you come.”

My entire being shortcircuits, and I clench at his sinful promise. “Yup, that’s definitely it.”

“I thought so.”

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