Page 75 of Nanny for the SEAL

“Ugh, I haven’t done anything like that since I was a teenager, and back then, it was just handy town.”

I laugh, pushing up onto my elbow to say something, but then the entire world twists upside down, and a wave of nausea washes over me.

It’s too strong, and I’m forced to rush to the back, where the trunk opens up, hitting the release and puking outside onto the ground.

Several moments pass while I empty everything that may have been inside me. When it finally backs off, I realize that Xaden is there, rubbing my back, and he helps me back inside the car.

“You okay?” I look up at him, his brows squeezed so low with worry that I feel bad. “That came out of nowhere.”

“I…” Exhaustion rushes me, making the world spin again. “I don’t know. Can we…can we go home?”

Xaden helpsto get everything ready to go, and now we’re on the road. The car is quiet, and my guts are still churning like I’m going to be sick again.

I don’t understand what’s been going on with my stomach lately, and as if the universe has it out for me, I feel my phone buzz in the pocket of my coat. I know it’s late, and I know that means it’s a particular person texting me.

Pulling out my cell, my stomach roils as I see that I’m right, yet again. My father is threatening me again, demanding money.

The nausea swells higher, and I’m forced to take deep breaths through my nose.

I can feel Xaden’s stare on me, and I shove the phone away. I’m too fucking worried about what my father might do, and I can’t hide it right now.

It’s too much to handle that he might be going after Jasmine next, and I can’t help but feel guilty for dragging Xaden and Daisy into all this by being involved with them.

I hate the man more and more, the danger that Xaden and Daisy could be in swirling through the nausea and making it more intense.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to pull over?”

Shaking my head, I close my eyes, gripping the handle on the car door. “No, I’m alright for now. Just get me home, okay?”

“Who—”

“It was just a spam text. It’s so annoying.”

Silence returns, and I crack a lid to see Xaden facing the road with his hands in tight grips on the wheel. The skin on his knuckles is white, and his jaw is clenched.

I know he doesn’t believe me, and he shouldn’t. Guilt blooms like an evil weed in my chest, and I want to sob.

Telling Xaden the truth is a must. I have to get around to it, but every time I think about coming clean, I worry that he’ll hear about my past and see me differently.

It’s not a pretty story, and I can’t stand the idea of Xaden thinking less of me, doubting the faith he’s put in me.

God, that’s so selfish. And come on, if he likes me, then it shouldn’t matter.

But I’m clearly a chicken shit because I’m too fucking scared to say anything. Am I really keeping him and Daisy safe by not saying something, or am I keeping myself safe?

I know the answer, of course. Still, I don’t know how to start a conversation about being a victim of my parents’ actions; thanks to their drug habits and horrible choices, I was nearly…their neglect was par for the course before going to prison.

How am I supposed to tell Xaden that I’ve never been this pure thing he thinks he sees because that was all taken from me when I was a child?

How am I supposed to say that I let myself stay in that situation because I was too afraid to leave my sister behind?

I stayed behind to protect her. I took the brunt of everything my parents did because I couldn’t let it happen to Jasmine, too.

But I also didn’t fight them. I didn’t fight.

And that fact still haunts me every day—just like my father coming back to haunt me now.

The rest of the car ride goes by in a blur of nausea and regret. When we get to Xaden’s, he carries me up the stairs and tucks me into the bed with a glass of water and some medicine.

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