Page 16 of Nanny for the SEAL

My eyes close against the bright light, and I turn away.

The lights follow me, coming at me from right ahead. There’s a loud noise blaring in front of me, too.

A horn.

I realize too late that it’s a horn, and the screeching sound of tires screams out as the other car tries to break.

It’s too late.

I’m always too late.

We collide, metal crunches, and pain is everywhere. Maeve is quiet. She’s never quiet. It’s why I liked her—the life of a party that I always felt blessed to be a part of.

The party is over, that life is o?—

Sweat drips from my brow as I shoot up in bed, trying furiously to catch my breath. Another nightmare. It’s hardly uncommon, but they always feel so real.

My heart is still racing as I try to get my bearings. I’m at home. I’m in my bed. There’s no car closing in on me. I’m safe.

But I am alone.

That part will never change. Maeve is still gone every time I wake up, and every time I wake up, I’m still broken.

The PTSD never goes away, and it was at its most substantial right after Daisy was born. That trauma cost me my wife.

Icost me my wife.

It’s been two years since the accident, and I haven’t forgiven myself for losing control of the car. I don’t think I ever will.

I mean, how could you forgive yourself for killing the love of your life? You just…can’t.

As I look over at my window, I can see sunlight peeking through the edges of the drapes. At least I was able to sleep for the entire night before the nightmare woke me up.

While nightmares are common, it means that sleepless nights are also common. I’ve definitely relied heavily on caffeine to make it through the day.

So, I guess I have to be grateful for making it this long.

Sitting up, I reach for my phone on the nightstand and pull it free of the charger. When I check the time, it’s almost seven in the morning.

“Oh, shit. I’m surprised I didn’t hear Daisy.”

I pull up the monitor app, which exited for some damn reason, and look in on her. She’s still in her little bed, singing to herself as she waddles her stuffed animals around.

Considering her mood, it’s unlikely that she’s been up and waiting for me for too long.Thank God.

The day waits for no one, so I pull myself out of bed, scrubbing a hand down my face as the weariness of sleep starts to fade away.

I just need to get changed, and I’ll bring Daisy down for some breakfast.

Eggs are cookingon the stove as Daisy watches some cartoons in the living room. We both like them scrambled, and it’s fantastic that she’ll eat them up so readily.

Breakfast of champions, indeed.

I turn the burner off and get a few of the fluffy eggs onto a plate for Daisy when my phone rings. I walk the meal to her on her little plastic plate with a spork as I swipe to answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey there, bud. Long time no chat. How’ve you been?”

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