Page 33 of Nanny for the SEAL

I should be sleeping. I should be dreaming of that flying pig that haunts me or just drifting off without remembering the nightmares.

But I’m not. I’m lying here thinking about Xaden,fantasizingabout Xaden.

I’ve tried everything I can think of to push him out of my mind—counting as high as I can, tracing the cracks in the ceiling, listing off the projects I still need to get done around the house—but it’s useless.

Tonight in the office with him was so charged, I can still feel the way his warm hand felt against my arm.

Thoughts of him keep spiraling, and I’ve contemplated every possible way I might feel him touch me again—platonically.

Those thoughts didn’t last, of course. Instead, I keep replaying the office encounter in my head, wondering what it might have been like if I walked up to him and kissed him.

What if it didn’t stop there?

What ifI sauntered into Xaden’s office while he was working—wearing some tiny mini skirt and no panties—and climbed onto his lap?

Oh my God, Ivy. You’re so fucking dumb. Stop thinking like this.

But I can picture it, teasing him and kissing him, rubbing myself against his growing erection. I can see those strong hands of his hoisting me up onto the desk, spreading me open, and going to town like a damned Christmas feast.

Arousal pounds through me, my pussy clenching as I feel slick gather between my thighs. God, it’s beensolong, and that really didn’t matter to me before.

But now?

It’s like if I don’t feel Xaden, if I can’t experience him claiming me every which way, I might actually combust.

My hand drifts down my stomach, and I try to fool myself into thinking I’m just scratching an itch.

But it drags further down, down, down.

I need it, just a quick distraction. It won’t mean anything, and I can imagine it’s Xaden’s hands playing with me and taking my body to those realms of pleasure I so rarely visit.

Finding the waistband of my panties, my heart pounds, visions that are decidedly not sugar plums dancing in my head.

Buzz, buzz.

I jump, yanking my hand away as I frantically go for my phone.

It’s not my father. It’s Jas.

I never did call her back, and I certainly don’t have time now. I message an apology and tell her the truth. I got busy at work.

She sends a little horny devil emoji, insinuating that I should “get busy” at work. Embarrassment makes my cheeks hot, and I brush her off before tossing the phone back down on the nightstand.

“Okay, Ivy. You’re done. Go to bed. No more…any of that.”

Shutting my eyes, I don’t let myself open them this time. I can’t stop myself from dreaming, but I can certainly avoid flicking the bean to fantasies of my boss.

ELEVEN

Xaden

I’m still sitting in the office. My laptop is open, and I continue to stare at a blank screen.

I’ve done exactly zero of the extra work that I set out to do after Ivy left, and I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about those beautiful fucking eyes of hers.

Everything about Ivy is so expressive and vibrant. I can see how much she lights up when she plays with Daisy, and she wears that empathy on her sleeve at every turn.

It should be slightly annoying how genuine and sincere she is, but I can’t help but find it charming—downright alluring.

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