Page 88 of Nanny for the SEAL

“Ivy. I get it. It’s not an issue. Trust me.” I can hear Jasmine’s voice start to raise, the tension evident.

“I’m just trying to help out. I mean, if you’re having sex?—”

“Ivy!” She lets out a sharp breath and then laughs roughly. “I’m dating a woman. So…you know, I’m reallyquitesure I can’t get pregnant.”

I pause for a moment. “Oh, well, yeah. You’ll be fine then.”

There’s another round of silence, and I wait for Jasmine to say something.

“Wow, you took that really well. I thought you might be…upset.”

Reeling in the bed, I sit up. “Why would I be upset? It’s awesome. I don’t care who you date. As long as they’re a good person.”

“I love you, Ivy.” Jasmine’s voice is thick, and I can hear the tears she’s fighting. “Thank you.”

“Sweetie, there’s nothing to thank me for.” I smile. “Though, I would hope that from now on, you’ll be more open to telling me aboutwhoeveryou’re dating.”

“I will. I promise. I, umm, I think it might be Becca for a while, though. I…I really like her.”

Now I’m the one getting choked up, hearing that my baby sister is falling in love with someone.

“Aww, honey. That’s great. I’m so happy for you.”

“You too! With the baby. But hey, I have to get to class.”

I nod again, inhaling a clean burst of fresh air. “Of course. I’m…I’m going to call Mom and get it out of the way. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Ivy.”

We hang up, and I look down at my phone, going back to that unknown number. My thumb hovers over the call icon for several moments before I finally press it and put my cell to my ear.

Ring, ring, ri?—

“Ivy, you called. I’m…wow, I’m really surprised.”

My stomach clenches. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do now. I had all this planned in my head, but hearing my mother’s voice has rocked me. I’m right back to being that small child.

“Ivy? Are you there?”

I clear my throat, forced into the present. “Umm, yes. I…look, why did you text me?”

There’s a pause from my mother this time, and I can only hope and pray that it’s filled with guilt.

“Ivy, I…I know I haven’t been a very good mother to you. I am sorry. I want to show you that I’ve changed.”

Anger starts to build, and the stopper in my bottle of words abruptly shoots out.

“Good?Good? A mop would have made a better mother. At least it would have been useful for all the damn messes that were left around.”

I know it’s harsh, but I can’t be bothered to give a crap. This woman helped to ruin my childhood, and she what? Just wants me to forgive her? No.

“Ivy, please, I want to make it right. I want?—”

“What about what I wanted? I was a fucking child, Karen.” I hear the words as they leave me, a measure of relief for finally saying them out loud. “You treated me, treated Jas, like we were your servants. Every moment, you chose to put us directly in harm’s way. We’re lucky to be alive.”

“You’re…” My mother’s voice cracks, and I shouldn’t, but it feels so damn good to hear her being the one in pain for a change. “You’re right. I was a terrible mother. And I’m not asking for your forgiveness. I know I don’t deserve it.”

“Damn straight, you don’t. Don’t pretend like you weren’t aware of everything you chose to do to us.”

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