Page 17 of Surrender

I watch as Serenity eyes them and tense, worried she'll do or say something inappropriate. She's as vanilla as they come, I'm gathering, and I'm not sure how she'll handle some of the more kinkier aspects of The Envelope. Sure, a sub on her knees is the tamest thing she'll see here, but I'm anxious for her to do well.

Daniel notices where my attention is.

"How's the new roommate?" he asks as he and Harrison join me at my table.

I hate the thought that I'm being that obvious. "Gave me a heart attack this morning when I couldn't find her, but I think we came to an agreement."

"Agreement?"

I groan. "Not like that." All of our subs have to sign an NDA and a contract outlining any hard limits, birth control, safe words, and aftercare expectations. Outlining expectations and requirements and legally promising to follow it protects both parties. I know Daniel and Cas, especially, would love nothing more than to turn Serenity into my sweet, virginal sub. Harrison I can never quite get a read on, but I know he's watching the me-and-Serenity situation carefully.

Fuck, I'd love that, too.

But it's not going to happen.

"Serenity is not my sub," I say. "Never will be my sub," I amend.

I hear the words. I believe the words. But my eyes can't stay off of her.

"Because..." Daniel eggs me on.

"Because I'm probably twenty years older than her, she's in a vulnerable situation, and doesn't need an old man creeping on her. She definitely doesn't need a dom to sub her. She needs a safe place to land and a little stability while she gets back on her feet."

Daniel considers me for a moment. "And that safe place is you? You can provide her with that stability?"

"I'm not taking relationship advice from a guy who is still hung up over a one-night-stand three years ago.Three years.Get over it already."

I know he's pushing me. I know he's questioning me. Why me? Why her? Why now?

But I barely have the answers myself. I was bored? She was hurt? She showed up yesterday looking like every one of my fantasies wrapped in one beautiful, vulnerable package and the beast in me demanded she become mine?

They let me sit with my thoughts as my eyes trace her every move. I don't travel in circles where women are beat or are in poverty. I know they exist, of course, and I make a sizeable donation to charities throughout the DMV regularly. And then there's the work that Cas and I do for trafficked women and children.

But most of my interactions with women are here. And the entry to The Envelope is a sizeable paycheck. So, the women who come here looking for a Dom are affluent, bored, high powered, and dying for someone to force them intowillingsubmission.

Maybe that's what I find so attractive about Serenity. She needs so much more than domination. She needs protection, she needs food and a safe place to live and sleep at night.

Maybe I like that she needs me. Maybe I like that I can be more for her than a rigger or dom. She needs things from me that the other women here don't. Things I haven't been able to give anyone else...

My cell phone dings, and I fish it out from my slacks pocket.

Vivek: I'm at your place with the items you requested for Miss Serenity. What room would you like me to put them in?

Me: The blue room, please.

??

I smile before looking up and catching Harrison watching me shrewdly.

Daniel has no qualms about peeking at my phone.

"Vivek, eh?"

I grumble. "She had nothing. She had the clothes on her back. What was I supposed to do?"

"Mhm," he hums knowingly.

But as I watch her work, I wonder if that isn't exactly what I'm already doing. Submission and dominance are a willing exchange of power, either permanently or during a scene. I've taken her power from her unwillingly. She had no other choices but me. My stomach sours with angry doubt.

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