Page 20 of Surrender

The sudden change in topic sends my mind spiraling.

"Tell me about the man who hit you."

I swallow.

"Tell me how you got to the point where you show up with only the clothes on your back."

I guess I owed him that much.

Looking back at the ceiling I decide where to start. "My mom and stepdad are addicts. Pills, alcohol, whatever they can get their hands on that month. I worked at Jammin' Java to pay the bills, but my hours got cut and Gary, my stepdad, didn't like that. It would mean less money for his addictions."

I give a sad little shrug. Do I wish things were different? Of course. Can I change them? Absolutely not.

I can't see him, but I feel him nod.

"Name."

"Name?"

Oh.Oh."It's not a big deal. It's done now and I'm safe."

"That's not what I asked."

"I don't want you to get hurt or in trouble because of me. You've already done too much." He may be an asshole, but I know what Gary and his buddies are capable of. It's just better if we all move on, right?

"How about you let me worry about what I do and don't do."

I swallow again. Can't argue with him about that.

"Gary..." he urges.

"Lawson." My voice is a quiet confession in this large room.

"You've had a lot of big life changes, Serenity. It's natural to be anxious. But how about you let me worry about what I spend my money on, who I talk to, what I do with my life."

My face flushes as I feel suitably chastised. He's being harsh and rude, but he's not wrong.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just used to taking care of everyone else, of worrying about everything else."

"That's not how this is going to work, if you want it to work at all. You don't get to call the shots here."

Again. Chastised. But his words made me think back to the dom and sub couple I saw earlier at The Envelope. Benji explained what he could about dom and sub relationships, about power play. And I know, of course, that's not what's happening here. But the idea of being able to let go of some of my responsibilities? Being able to let go of some of my stress? That sounded really nice.

I just don't know if I have it in me to trust anyone that much.

Let alone the angry man in the bed next to me.

"I can hear you thinking. Go to sleep Serenity."

For some reason that makes me smile. He may be grouchy and rude, but he's done nothing but shown me kindness. And I appreciate that he's not trying to be someone or something he's not.

Gary was a monster but was always kind as long as I kept the money flowing and him and my mother suitably stoned.

He didn't show his true colors until the money ran out.

I may be lying in bed next to a beast, but he was an honest one.

Chapter thirteen

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