Page 28 of Surrender

As she goes to walk away, I gently grab her wrist and stand. "Can we talk?"

She goes to step back, shaking her head. "I have customers..."

"They can wait."

I take her tray from her, set it down on our table, and gently tug her towards my office.

Once we're in my office, I shut and lock the door behind me. Serenity is deathly still, hands clasped in front of her, eyes cast down. She's the personal embodiment of uncomfortable.

"Would you care to sit?"

Her worried eyes shoot up to mine. "Am I being fired?"

"What? No! Why would you think that?"

She casts her eyes down again and shrugs sadly.

I run my hand through my hair. The silence stretches between us uncomfortably, as I wrestle with what to say. Daniel's right. Of course, I need to talk to her. But I hadn't given myself enough time to come up with something intelligent.

I slump down into my chair and hang my head forward, dragging my hands through my hair.

"I can't seem to stop fucking things up with you."

Wary blue eyes meet mine.

"From scaring you the first day, to scaring you that night in the car, to you scaring me when I couldn't find you... to this morning."

She tenses; almost imperceptibly. She's afraid that what I'm going to say is going to hurt her. Does that mean she wants me too? She said she wasn't competition for Samantha, but she's also been avoiding me ever since.

She's trusted me with her safety, her home, her health. It's time I offer her a bit of my own trust.

"I fired Samantha."

"What?" she asks in surprise. "No! You can't do that!"

I smile at her outrage for a woman she doesn't know. She seems shocked at her own reaction and retreats back into herself.

I sigh, rubbing a hand down my face. "I wasn't checking her out."

"It's none of my business."

She still won't look at me. I gently and slowly encircle her wrist in my hand and tug her towards me. She's so much smaller than me that my fingers overlap. I don't know what I want from her. All I know is that I want to erase this awkwardness and get back into the comradery we were enjoying with each other before. Even if that means she's just a few inches closer to me.

"Well, I was checking her out but it's not what you think. I..." I swallow, and the movement catches her eye. "I was thinking how much I would like to see you in an outfit like that. It was an incredibly inappropriate thought, and I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with me. I'd never take something you didn't offer, and I'm a big boy. I can control myself around you." Okay, that might be stretching the truth. I can control myself around her. I will. But it's been growing harder every day.

She licks her lips, but at least she's looking at me now. So, I continue. "You're a gorgeous girl. And sweet. I want you to stay.I like having you in my home. I like that I can do something for you, protect you. I..."

I rub the back of my neck. Christ. I've never been good at expressing my feelings. I'd lucked out in the fact that Vikki never asked how I was feeling, and most of my romantic partners don't care about my emotions.

But how much do I tell her? Now that she's looking at me with open, honest eyes I decide to lay it all bare for her. "I lost my fiancé in a car accident a long time ago."

She gasps slightly, drawing my eyes to her beautiful mouth.

Focus!

"It... well it fucked me up for a while. And I... a part of me feels better when I can protect you, provide for you."

I shake my head, convinced I've fucked this all up.

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