Page 29 of Surrender

"I... I'm sorry," she whispers, voice laced with emotion. She twists the wrist I'm still holding until she can lace her fingers through mine, effectively holding my hand. It's strangely intimate without being sexual, and I realize that my breath has stalled in my lungs. When was the last time I did something as innocent as holding a girl's hand?

I refocus on her and shake my head. "It was a long time ago, I just... want you to know where I'm at - where I stand. I don't want you to leave." The memory of Vikki doesn't hurt the same way anymore. We were both young and idealistic. She was beautiful and lovely but came with her own flaws. I loved her. And while her death gutted me in the years after the accident, it was the fear of not being in control that I carry with me now. Not any romantic longings.

Fuck if I come off sounding desperate. The idea of her leaving makes mefeeldesperate. I'm not a needy man, generally, but I took one look at her scared eyes, the bruise marring her skin, and decided she was mine to protect.

"Okay," she says, so quietly I almost miss it.

"Okay?"

I can't help the feeling of hope spreading through my chest. I squeeze her hand gently, encouraging her to say more.

"I... I'm attracted to you, too." She looks down. "I didn't like you checking her out."

She looks miserable saying it, but I want to wrap her in my arms and spin her. I haven't earned that right, but we have a tentative understanding now.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay," I repeat.

I stand and step towards her, forcing her to look up at me. I smile down at her, feeling more settled than I have in a long time.

"Thank you," I say, dropping a kiss to her cheek.

She sucks in a breath, surprised at the contact.

A chaste kiss to the cheek has Serenity affected. I watch in rapt fascination as goosebumps crawl up her chest and the side of her neck.

God, this woman is addicting. My regulars in the club have become so desensitized to anything sexual that we have to get inventive together. Pain, role playing, elaborate tie downs, toys.

I could have so much fun with her, exploring every inch of her body, exploring every reaction to every touch. God, what a privilege that would be.

I step back, clearing my throat.

"I'll let you get back to work."

"Thank you, sir," she says sweetly, and I bite back a groan.

Chapter seventeen

Declan

I'm not sure if setting Serenity up to work in my home office with me was a good idea.

She said she wanted to feel useful, so I thought giving her some of the more benign admin work would keep her mind busy. But it's having the opposite effect on me. I can barely read two sentences of my email before my eyes are drawn back up to her. She's sitting turned slightly away so she can't see me staring at her unless she turns her head. I can't quite place what it is about her that draws my eye so much.

Her hair is in a tight braid, so I can trace the curve of her temple, the soft hairs on the nape of her neck. My eyes drag greedily over the sweet curve of her ear, the soft curve of her neck, the length of her collarbone. There isn't an inch of her I don't want to trace with my tongue.

She's wearing business clothes that Vivek bought for her. They're high end, and while the white button-down shirt tucked into a tight black skirt plays into every office fantasy I've ever had, they don't fit her. They don't match her. I know Vivek bought them for me to enjoy, but they don't fit her entirenervous, shy, inexperienced vibe. She looks like if Cinderella dressed up as a madame.

I snort at the comparison, and her eyes shoot up to mine.

I clear my throat.

"What's got you thinking so hard? They're only background checks."

We get applications for membership every day and try to keep our numbers stabilized, but we do background checks on everyone in our backlog, eliminating them early in the process to make room for better choices.

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