Page 76 of Surrender

A sleepy and adorable Declan frowns at me. His hair is messy from where I raked my hands through it all night, and he has a crease line on his face from my pillow. The sex had to be quiet because Ella was home and I didn't want to disturb her, but when Declan shoved my panties in my mouth to keep me quiet, it had me absolutely feral for the man. It was the hottest, quietest sex we've ever had.

I'm finding that when you really care for a person, it changes the sex. We've had hot sex before, but now I'm falling in love with the man and seeing every facet of his personality. Everything that makes Declan, Declan. From his tidiness to his passion, to the way he holds a coffee mug in the morning, or squints at his computer screen but refuses to wear glasses. From his playfulness at dinner last night, to the grumpy way he complained about how my bed was too small for him. I know every inch of this man's body, from his strong jaw, the dimple in the middle of his chin, to his scar from when he had his appendixout as a teenager. And I also feel like I know every inch of his soul and mind now, too. And it makes him so attractive to me.

"No. That can't be."

"It was. We've kissed each other's bodies, but never on the mouth."

The hand not holding my hip runs across his mouth. "Fuck, babe. I'm sorry. I feel like an asshole."

I shake my head. "It's okay, we weren't like that back then."

"We could have been. I should have been kissing you the way you deserve this whole time."

"I like this version of our story better."

He rolls me onto my back and nearly off the bed before muttering, "Stupid fucking bed." I laugh, but he kisses the laugh out of me. He's slow, sensual, an exploring of my mouth, and I happily return the sentiment.

When he pulls back, but kisses me quickly again, as if he can't help himself, I ask, "Should I go make us some coffee?"

"If you want, babe, I could use a shower."

"Help yourself."

I crawl out from underneath him and throw his shirt on, earning me a low growl of lust before I scurry out of my room.

Ella's not up yet, so I make us a pot of coffee and pour ours the way I know we like them.

When I go back towards my bedroom, I notice I don't hear the shower running yet.

"Everything okay?" I ask as I shoulder my way carefully back into the room.

Declan's leaning against my headboard with my notebook open in his lap. He must have found it on my night stand.

"Ser..." my nickname is a whispered prayer on his lips.

I soften. "Is it dumb? I was making that to give you for Christmas."

His Adam's apple bobs a few times as he swallows. His eyes are red and glassy. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it again and looks down at my notebook.

I'd written a collection of meet-cutes for us. I couldn't accidentally pick up his wrong coffee order, because he doesn't go to any cafes. He couldn't rescue me from the side of the road because I don't have a car. He couldn't help me reach for cereal on the top shelf at the grocery store if Magda does his grocery shopping. So, I wrote out different scenarios like that. Fifty ways I'd like to have run into him for the first time. A way to give us a new story.

To rewrite how we met for the first time and not have our story start when I was homeless, and abused, and simply a new employee he took pity on.

I had left the notebook on my nightstand when we went out on our date because I'd thought of writing one about Jose's taco truck. We both reached for the hot sauce at the same time, fingers brushing, and then insist the other take it first.

I set the coffees on my nightstand and go to kneel next to him. He's struggling with his emotions right now and I don't want him to feel alone. I know it was kind of a corny gift, but I am a broke college kid in a big city, so I couldn't afford much.

He grips me by my hips before I can sit and drags me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me so tightly they go all the way around me and then some, and rests his head on my chest.

He holds me, for several long breaths, and I simply hold him back, pressing all of my love into him.

After a few minutes, he pulls away and looks up into my eyes, smiling gently. "I love you, Ser. Thank you. No one has ever done something so thoughtful for me before. You're incredible."

I smile, shake my head, and kiss him.

When we part for our coffees, he says, "Maybe that means I can give you your present early?"

I wiggle. "Sure!"

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