Page 24 of Surrender

Chapter fourteen

Declan

Ididn't wake Serenity for our run the next day. I figured she'd been through enough last night and could use the rest. She'd come to me again, still unable to sleep, and while sleeping in the same bed as my greatest temptation wasn't exactly fun, I liked when she finally fell asleep. I swear the entire bed shifted when her body finally gave in, and she relaxed.

I, however, couldn't sleep a Goddamn wink. Last night had me spiraling. When I saw that greasy man's hand on her I saw red. My baser instincts kicked in. Someone was trying to take her from me, and I couldn't allow that. I don't regret hitting that man, and I don't regret taking the punch, but what happened in my office threw me.

I was spiraling, angry on adrenaline, ready to keep fighting - to fight everyone who thought they could take her from me. And then she yelled at me. It's not the yelling that stopped my spiral. It was what she said. How such a beautiful, innocent, wonderful creature could think she isn't worth anything pulled the rug out from under my tirade. She'd told me about her parents and herupbringing, but it never occurred to me that that would have affected her self-worth - her self-esteem.

But of course it would. If your own mother only sees you as a meal ticket, how could you see yourself as anything more?

And then she touched me.

I haveneverbeen touched like that before. She touched me with reverence, as if I was something special to touch. It wasn't sexual, it wasn't sensual. It wasn't a caress of someone who wanted something out of me. It was worshipful. And I'm addicted.

Even before The Envelope, I've never been worshiped. Loved, appreciated, wanted, sure. Cherished? Worshiped? Hell no.

I spent most of the evening in my office, spiraling over all these new feelings. Daniel and Harrison would give me shit for it, so I avoided them too.

They want me to lock down the pretty young virgin in my care with a dom/sub contract and relationship. They want me to take her virginity because they know how much I'd love it. And how I'd make it good for her.

But Serenity's different.

She isn't the type of person you bed with a contract. She isn't a one-night-stand or even situationship. If Serenity ever does decide to explore her sexuality, she's the type of woman you give your all to. Between her shitty family, her struggles with her ADHD and anxiety, and her general innocence, she needs one person who can give her everything. I can give her a home and clothes and food. But could I give her everything? No. Absolutely not. Half of my heart died two decades ago. I'd never imagine giving her whatever measly shambles are left.

I won't.

She deserves more.

"Are we running today?" Serenity's sweet voice announces her entrance into my home office. She's in her running gear, but I'd already gone, come back, showered, and was now working.

"I already went."

"You didn't wake me?"

"No. I figured after last night you deserved to sleep in some. Have you eaten?"

"Yes. I saw the plate Magda left me."

"Good."

She shifts her weight from foot to foot uncomfortably, picking at her nails again. I've noticed her do it a few times - the first night with Volkov, last night after the attack. It must be her nervous tick. One I plan on addressing.

"Yes?"

"Sir, I..."

I shift in my seat, adjusting my suddenly tight slacks.

"What do I do?"

"What do you do?"

"Yes. Like...I need to be productive, active. Put me to work, please? Give me something to do?"

We have been talking about hiring an admin.

"Go get your laptop. Have you set it up yet?"

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