Page 40 of Surrender

"I'd like to watch."

One hand gently encircles the wrist touching him and pulls me away. His other hand fists the base of his cock, and I watch in fascination as he squeezes himself and strokes up and down his length. Watching Declan touch himself is setting me on fire. It's so beautiful and erotic and intimate and I don't know how to process everything, so I just watch.

His face looks pained, his chest heaving and flushed. Fuck, he's beautiful. No. Not beautiful. Gorgeous, sensual, incredible, mesmerizing. I watch as he works his length, and curiosity gets the better of me. I drag a thumb over his balls, feeling how soft the skin is there.

"Fuck! Ser! Fuck!" Declan gasps out as his entire body tenses. He pumps his hips into his hand, and I watch as rope after rope of creamy white cum coats his stomach, his chest, his hand. Jesus, he's glorious like this. He's all masculinity and vulnerability and sex appeal. I squeeze my thighs together as he finishes with a low groan.

I'm stunned by him, watching as he catches his breath, still covered in cum. I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I searched porn sites for themes and ideas but wasn't brave enough to watch anything. I've done a bit of research on sex and kink clubs, but kept it well PG. But the scene I'm seeing in front of me now is something else. And I'm not quite sure what to think about it.

My intrusive thoughts win when I drag a finger through the cum on his chest and pop it in my mouth. It's that same salty, earthy flavor.

Declan throws an arm over his eyes. "Fuck, Ser. Really? Are you trying to kill me?"

I can't help but giggle, because no, that's the last thing I want to do.

"How do you... clean up?" I ask, my voice a low, sacred whisper.

"Wet washcloth, my shirt, a towel, whatever," he replies, still dazed. I'm bubbly as I go to his ensuite and run the hot water. That option sounded sweeter than the rest. He doesn't know what he's done for me, but I can't describe how happy it makes me. I wet a washcloth I find under the sink in the hot water, wring it out and walk back to the bedroom before kneeling on the mattress next to him.

I take my time and pay special attention to clean up every drop of cum off of his stomach and chest. He gave me such a gift tonight, and I'm not sure he fully understands it. Before I can second guess myself, I dip down and press a kiss below his navel.

I go back to the bathroom, wet another washcloth, and clean up my panties.

When I get back into the bedroom, he's pulled the comforter up to cover his goods, but I spy his sweatpants still on the ground.

"And you?" he asks.

"I'm alright." I'm turned on and aching, but I'm not sure I'm confident enough to do anything about it tonight. My head is spinning with a thousand different thoughts and questions. Maybe tomorrow? I just performed my first hand job, watched my first male orgasm, touched my first cock and balls. That's plenty to keep me spiraling for a few days. I don't need to add more to it.

But when I lay down on my side of the bed, curled on my side, signaling I'm ready to sleep, Declan does something I'm not expecting. He flicks off his bedside lamp and then wraps himself around me from behind.

He's fully naked, and I'm fully clothed, and I don't know what this is. Maybe he needs to feel some sort of connection after orgasm? Is this to reassure him, or me? Does he want more? Is this goodbye?

He kisses the exposed part of my neck above the collar of the shirt he left for me to sleep in. "Stop thinking, Ser, and just let it happen."

Just let it happen. Okay. He wants to hold me. After he jerked off in front of me. And I tasted his cum. And honestly? Being wrapped in a cocoon of Declan? It feels really damn nice right now. I've never had this kind of touch - this kind of intimacy. No one has ever hugged me, or held me.

Just let it happen.

Just let him hold me, touch me, see me, take care of... me.

Chapter twenty-two

Declan

Ifucked up.

That phrase runs through my mind on a loop as we jog our usual path the next morning. I don't feel guilty about jacking off in front of her last night. She asked and I obliged. I'm giving her a safe place to explore her sexuality.

It was everything else.

It was the nickname I called her. Ser. Not Serenity.

It's what a friend or a boyfriend would call her.

It was the peck on the back of her neck.

It was the spooning afterwards.

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