Page 116 of Trustfall

Four Months Later…

Fallingin love is a lot like falling backward and not knowing for sure if anyone is going to be there to catch you. What do they call it? A trust fall? When you’re supposed to just fall to your possible death, putting all your faith in one person to prevent you from hitting your head and bleeding out all over the fucking floor.

When you first perform it, there are always a few stumbles. You put your foot out or step backwards before you have a chance to fall.

Defense mechanisms.

Survival instincts.

Call them whatever you want. They’re your body’s way of keeping you safe. Your body doesn’t know there’s someone behind you. Your brain knows, and your heart knows, but your most basic human instincts are telling you to save yourself. Don’t rely on anyone else.

I did that once. Relied on someone else to catch me. Trusted the wrong person. I fell. I crashed. I bled out. But I didn’t die.

I got a second chance. A second opportunity to fall backwards and hope like hell the person would catch me this time. Still, there were stumbles. My heart told me to stay and be happy; my brain told me to be cautious but optimistic, but my body told me to flat-out run. I almost did. I almost ran from one of the best things that had ever happened to me.

I lookat Luke with more love than I thought I could hold in my heart, as he walks over, his long legs eating up the distance to the oversized wooden table in his parents’ backyard. He’s carrying a huge tray of grilled chicken and hamburgers, which he places down in the center of the table. His mom, Annabelle, comes up behind him and places down two bowls, one with grilled corn and the other with potato salad.

“I think that’s everything,” she says as she takes the seat to my right.

“Smells amazing, Angel,” Luke’s dad, Calvin, chimes in as he grabs a spoon and starts scooping potato salad onto his plate.

Anna immediately slaps his wrist. “Don’t be rude, Cal. We have to wait for all our guests to arrive before we eat. Where are your manners?”

“You didn’t seem to mind my lack of manners last night,” he teases, hiking his eyebrows up.

“Ugh, gross,” Luke groans.

“What?” Calvin looks genuinely confused. “Your mother and I have a healthy?—”

“Don’t,” Luke interrupts him, “even finish that sentence.”

Anna and I glance at each other and giggle. This easy banter between them is something that I don’t think Luke, his mom, or his dad ever thought would be possible. But somehow, after not speaking for eight years, they were able to get their relationship to a place where they not only tolerate each other’s presence but actually enjoy it. They even work well together, which came as a surprise to all of us.

After the charges were dropped, Calvin insisted Luke keep half of the money from the sale of his construction business. He said the business would have crumbled if Luke hadn’t stepped in when he did, and he wanted to show him his gratitude. He tried not to accept it, but his dad ultimately won the battle of wills.

Luke put down a deposit to lease a space in town for a custom bike shop a week later. It was previously an auto repair shop, so it didn’t take much to get it functioning as the motorcycle haven Luke had dreamed up. Calvin helped with the minor renovations, and Luke is now the proud owner of Collins Custom Cycles and Repair. At first, Luke was doing all of the work himself, but word spread and he got really busy a couple of weeks ago, so he decided to take on a couple of employees to help him out. He hired Marco from the old construction company, and to my utter shock, his dad. Calvin had enjoyed his short-lived retirement but got bored and decided he wanted to work with his hands again. He’s only part-time, but he loves getting to work alongside his son everyday.

Most importantly, Calvin is stable. The new meds he switched to while in the hospital have worked out well for him, and he still goes to therapy once a week. Luke has even gone to a few family sessions with him. I’ve gotten pretty close with both of his parents. They remind me a little of Gram and Opa.

I started seeing my old therapist again as well. Luke’s willingness to heal his relationship with his dad made me realize that I still had my own healing to do. Being in a healthy relationship with a man who worships me instead of torturing me has helped, but it didn’t make my trauma magically disappear. I still have internal battles and self-doubt that I need to face on my own, and therapy has allowed me to start that process.

I finally told Gram about the mysterious guy who had captured my heart. She had another lucid day a couple of months ago, and I brought Luke to see her. She had already moved to assisted living by the time Luke moved to town, so they never officially met. Although Nate talked about him often.

“I’ll be damned,” she had said. “Your brother’s best friend, Emmy. You have more spunk than I’ve given you credit for.” She then proceeded to hound Luke about the wedding date and great-grandchildren for the rest of the visit. Luke ate it all up, agreeing with her that it should all happen sooner than later.

“Sorry, we’re late,” I hear a voice boom behind me. I turn around to see my brother walking through the back gate, wearing a fucking suit to a barbecue and not looking apologetic about it, despite the apology that just spilled from his lips. My dad is beside him, also looking like he just stepped out of an office on Wall Street. Have these people never been to a backyard barbecue before? Allie is trailing behind both of them, also unapologetic but slightly more appropriately dressed.

It’s October, but the last few days have been unseasonably warm, so Luke and I decided to get our families together for an impromptu outdoor cookout. It’s not the first time our families have dined together. My dad insisted Luke and his parents come over for family dinner a few weeks ago, and it went surprisingly well. I was worried Anna and Calvin would be uncomfortable in my dad’s ridiculously extravagant dining room, but they seemed to have a great time. My dad and brother had disappeared with Luke at one point, and I’m pretty sure they were threatening his life should he ever hurt me, but he somehow came back looking unfazed and even more in love with me.

“So glad y’all could make it,” Anna says as she stands up to greet my family.

“Thank you for having us,” my dad says as he shakes Calvin’s hand. “I can’t believe it has taken us so long to spend time together. I know our sons have been inseparable for a while.”

“I guess it takes throwing a daughter into the mix,” Anna says playfully. My dad grins and extends his hand to her. She disregards it and throws her arms around him. “We hug in this family. It’s a Southern thing.”

My dad initially goes rigid, but then he relaxes and hugs her back. I snicker to myself because the hugging definitely took some getting used to for me. My dad and Nate are not exactly huggers. Nate only hugs me if it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, and I honestly can’t remember the last time I hugged my dad. Our relationship has been much better since our talk in the library, and he is making more of an effort, but he’s still really busy at work. Old habits die hard, but he makes time for us where it counts, and I’m grateful for that.

“Well, let’s eat,” Anna says as she gestures for everyone to take a seat. Nate sits in the seat next to me where Luke had been before he stood up to greet them. But as soon as Nate’s ass hits the chair, Luke eyes him, clearly irritated.

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