Page 69 of Trustfall

“No. Ashton got him to leave, and then he ran to the bathroom to puke.”

Luke stubs out his cigarette and pushes off his bike. If I thought he was pissed before, he’s downright murderous now. He looks at the entrance of the bar, and I know before he even takes a step what he’s thinking.

“No. You’re not going in there.”

“The fuck I’m not. What does he look like? Do you know his name?”

“Luke.”

“I’m not playing, Emory. What does he fucking look like?”

“Ashton will tell Nate what happened. He’ll deal with him. Please. I came out here to talk.”

I don’t want to talk, but it’s all I can think of to get him to stay with me instead of hunting down Mason. Luke looks at the door again and then back at me. There’s clearly a war going on in his head. Despite his aversion to violence, I can see he wants nothing more than to beat the shit out of Mason. But he’s been wanting to talk to me for a week now.

“Okay, you want to talk? Then talk.” He makes a gesture as if to say, “The floor is yours.”

“I—” I start to say something, but the words get caught in my throat. What can I say? My ex-boyfriend emotionally abused me to the point that I don’t know how to trust anyone. And now said ex is back in town and is trying to blackmail me into fucking marrying him.

“Emory,” he pleads.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Why? Why can’t you talk to me?

“I…just can’t.”

“That’s not a fucking answer, Emory, and you know it.”

“Because…because you came out of nowhere,” I yell as I throw my hands up. “I was doing fine. I was surviving. And then you show up and we hang out for a couple of months, and all of a sudden, I’m supposed to open my heart and let it bleed out for you?”

“That’s not?—”

I don’t let him finish. “You never noticed me. You never gave me the time of day. Why now? Because I grew up? Because I’m not that stupid little girl reading in the corner anymore? Guess what? I’m still that girl. Just a broken version of her.” I turn away. I can’t even look at him after what I admitted.

“Emory…”

“No. You want to talk? Let’s talk,” I spit out, turning back to him. “This is me. My life is messy and complicated, and I won’t be able to give you what you need. I’ll retreat into myself. I’ll have panic attacks…like the other night…” I lower my eyes, still feeling raw about what happened, but when my eyes snap back to Luke, I can’t help feeling that he deserves the truth. Some of it, at least. “He used to call me princess. My ex. That’s why I freaked out,” I whisper.

“Fuck, Emory,” he tries again, but I don’t answer. He takes a step and I back away, on instinct. Or maybe because I know the second he touches me, I’ll lose all my resolve. Whatever is left of it, anyway. But he keeps moving toward me. Every step I take, he counters with his own.

“Just—hold fucking still for a second.”

I huff out a breath, a stray hair that has fallen over my eye jumping up, but I don’t move away this time, as his arms encircle me. I instantly sink into him, grabbing his waist and digging my fingers into his back.

“I’m so sorry I called you that,” he whispers against my hair.

“You didn’t know,” I whimper, my voice shaky.

“I still hate that I was the reason you had a panic attack,” he says, rubbing my back in thin circles.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” I say into his chest.

“I don’t. I mean, I did, but I quit. I chew gum instead now, but I still keep a pack on me just in case life gets to be too much.”

“So, I drove you to smoke?”

He lets out an ironic laugh. “You drive me to do a lot of things, Little Wells.”